Rotatin'

I said in my birthday post that I wouldn't blog about my job. Which for the most part I don't. But my job has offered me an opportunity to spend the next 7 weeks on a rotational assignment in Washington DC. As this is bloggerific news, I thought I was fit to share.

When I began working I heard of past employees who had done rotations at our headquarters office in DC. By the time I started the rotations had pretty much stopped, but I still thought that they would be a good thing for me to experience. So over the past year I've worked - despite the objections of my management - to secure a rotation. This Sunday I'll be leaving for my big trip to DC.

I've been preparing for the trip. I'm already planning on taking a weekend trip up to NYC and another to a bachelor party in Nashville. I have been contacting all my old friends who live in our nations capitol and letting them get ready for my triumphant arrival. I've arraigned for suitable lodging at the Newseum on Pennsylvania Avenue.

When word got around the office that I was doing this rotation the most common question I was asked was if I would come back. I guess it is rather common for our headquarters to offer jobs to people from the field once they complete their rotations. So who knows, perhaps they'll ask me to move to DC.

Texts With Strangers Part 4

Tonight wasn't the first, second or even third time I've chatted it up with a random number that has texted me. Read on my followers, read on.


Random: This is Benjamin Franklin who is dis 
Me: This be James K Polk. What's up Benji? 
Random: Hello Mr. Polk. How u do today? U comin to da party at 3427 Hollywood Dr tonite? 
Random: Mr. Polk please elaborate with a response 
Me: What city is that in? 
Random: Uhh Mr. Polk you should no where Hollywood is. It is located in Hollywood, CA near LA 
Me: That's a little far Mr. Franklin. I fear I would be a bit late my good sir.
Random: Really? Where do reside Mr. Polk? Did my colleague Thomas contact you yet?
Me: I reside in the enchanted lands of the pacific northwest. Mister Thomas did not grace me with communication.
Random:  Mr. Thomas said that you claim to be Mr. Dave Strider from the great state of Texas? If that is true, then you have lied to two federal government employees.
Me:  As a fellow civil servant I cannot lie. I am neither the Honorable Dave Strider nor the affable James K Polk. I believe I have been the recipient of some false communication.
Random:  My colleague from Montana (special agent Desharnais) and I have traced your satellite location to Waterford, MI and your listed as Mr. Craig Borowski. Is this correct information sir?
Me:  That's a negative ghostrider. I know not of the gentlemen of which you speak.

Random: Sir, if you happen to be giving false information to special undercover agents of INTERPOL then you are committing a federal offense and we will send a few Feds to your location to sort things out. 

Random: As you lie, we are gathering more information Mr. Craig Borowski was a graduate of U of M, correct?
Me: I cannot attest to the factual accuracy of that information
Random:  Do you know of an individual by the name of skyrimwarrior on xbox live?
Me:  I'm afraid I do not.
Random:  Do you happen to know of an individual who is listed as your son (Nick Borowski)? To inform you, Nick is currently under government surveillance for "stealing copyrighted music" from a well known music downloader that has been recently investigated and taken over.
Me:  Do I happen to know my own son? Regretfully I have not met him. Will he be attending tonight's party?
Random:  Mr. Borowski, the party was a set up to try and get some written information from you. This happens to be Jude Sundquist. Have a nice day.
Me:  Ahh a classic Ruse. Well played my good man! Well played!


I have no idea what just transpired. At first I thought we were going with a urban-historical style but soon found myself using a more regal Victorian tone before finally finishing in some sort of polite interrogation. 

Christmas, NYE and The Sugar Bowl

I took quite the Christmas vacation.

It started with me flying home the night before Christmas Eve. I did my usual route to the airport which involves a mile walk to a bus, which takes me to a ferry, which takes me to a light rail, which takes me to the airport. From the airport I hopped on a nice little flight down to Phoenix. From Phoenix I slept during my flight to Chicago, and from there it was a quick jump to Detroit. I arrived home a little more than 19 hours after I left. And then I had to go do Christmas Shopping.

A week at home was just enough to remind me why I never want to live in the Detroit suburbs again. So despite the free beer, pool table and hot tub (not to mention family) I left Detroit the day before NYE and flew down to Houston. Of course on this trip it could never be that simple. To get to Houston, I had to fly through Washington DC and Jackson Mississippi. Once in Houston, I spent several days with Mark and Dave. One day we decided to wake up and go to a bowl game. So we grabbed some beer and went down to Reliant Stadium and scalped some tickets for about $17 each to the Texas Bowl.

After the game we went to this liqour store called Spec's. The only reason I mention it is because it has over 80,000 square feet of selling space. The place was an alcoholic's Disneyland.

For NYE we went with a big group out to a local bar. The great thing about Houston is that since it is so warm the bars are mostly patio's with the actual bar having large openings to the outdoor areas. It was a pretty good time but would not hold up amongst some of my better NYE's.

[FREE SIDEBLOG TIME]

Brian's Top 5 New Year's Eves
2008 - Ann Arbor, Michigan
2006 - Windsor, Canada
2010 - Washington, DC
1993 - Bedford, PA (I ate a bunch of chocolate fudge that year and puked everywhere around 12:15)
2009 - Seattle, WA

[END FREE SIDEBLOG TIME]

New years day was spent sitting on Mark's rooftop porch watching the Michigan Basketball game, smoking cigars and drinking whiskey. Pretty solid day.

The next morning Dave and I got on a flight from Houston to New Orleans to attend the Sugar Bowl. It was my first trip to New Orleans and I came away very impressed. There is just something about Bourbon street that makes me really like it. I haven't been to Beale Street in Memphis or downtown Savannah Georgia, so I can't provide another free sideblog of top 5 favorite streets in America. (Having no open container law is the only criteria for making my list of favorite streets in America)

 but I must say, it ranks high on the list so far. I can only imagine what it is like when the weather is above 55 degrees. Before going there my only real knowledge came from watching the Cops specials from Mardi Gras. That's how I knew that it's okay for girl to show their TaTa's but guys can't show their trouser snakes.

Before the Sugar Bowl we pre-gamed in the French Quarter with about 20 of my college friends and then went to the Superdome. I sat in the Student section which was great. The game was ugly but since we won, that meant a big party on Bourbon Street.

If there is a big party, you know that Craig will be there.

Side note: The previous morning he woke up next to a vending machine in a hotel he wasn't staying at.

Gratuitous David Cone shot with fellow Lahser alum Justin:

On the way back to the hotel a girl called my name. It just happened to be Mark Hugye's girlfriend who used to date my roommate, who was good friends with Mark. So I got to talk to Mark a minute and congratulate him on the season. We walked past many of the players on the way back. I even had my picture taken for a terrific Tumblr.

I did a lot of drinking in New Orleans. The 2 days we were there felt like 5 because we would go out and drink all afternoon and then take a nap and go out again at night. Great food, cool city. 5 Stars would visit again, A+++++.

The next day I flew back to Seattle (Through Denver of course). The following day I found myself sitting through an all day design review. It was quite the transition from partying on Bourbon Street to listening to a bunch of nerds talk about Delta T equations.

It was a pretty good vacation. I got to see lots of old friends and do many cool things. And doing cool things is cool.

WTTIF Gets Wood

Hello friends,

Long time no see. I've haven't been blogging at a incredible rate. But this post will have to be made as the official 5 year anniversary post. Which, for the record, is 5 days late. And I forgot to write one last year. Given the recent trend soon anniversary posts will constitute a large percentage of this blogs posts. Last year  I even blogged about how my lack of blogging has affected the number of birthday wall posts that I normally get. But that's not the reason I blog. As I laid out in my introductory post, this blog is to be used for the sole purpose of getting chicks.

But 5 years ago people were just figuring out how to dump things on this big truck we call an internet. Being a blogger was edgy and cool. Haven't any of you seen hackers? It was just like that. I was Dade "Zero Cool" Murphy and my readers were a sexier version of Angelina Jolie. But as the years dragged on I find that having a blog is considered passe. Blogs don't get chicks anymore. Today's babes only want guys with Tumblrs and over 100 twitter followers. I might as well be writing this on my LiveJournal while updating my MySpace.

Another problem with the blog is that content is harder to come by. It used to be that when I had no responsibilities I could go out and do stupid shit and then write (poorly) about it. But with a full-time professional job I have less time to spend doing stupid shit. And I refuse to let this blog divulge into me posting links to interesting things or write about my opinions on politics. There is enough of that on the internet already, thank you very much. And I'm not going to bore everyone by writing about my job.

The other real problem that has contributed to the demise of the blog has been the rise of Twitter. I've had a twitter account since March of 2009. It is interesting to note that it was also the last month that I also blogged more than 7 times. I think the twitters have taken away some of the low level content that once comprised the majority of the filler posts between the long posts. That basically leaves the blog for all the long-winded (boring) stuff like big trips. The problem is that no one wants to hear about other peoples trips unless there are pictures of naked people or you're leaving friends behind in Bloomington Indiana.

The good news is that I do have some posts that I plan on posting in the near future. You can consider this the preantepenultimate post of January 2012. Let's see where this year takes us, and let's pour some out for the last 5.

P.S. I'm really proud of what I did with the title of this post. Very high level stuff.