Sometimes we do cool things

Yesterday we were sitting on the porch talking about drinking and someone mentioned playing Edward 40 Hands, a classic college drinking game. But we decided that you could make it much more coleslawesome if instead of Edward 40 Hands you played Edward 7 Cans. The premise is basically the same but instead of taping 2 40's to your hands you tape 7 cans of beer to your hands.

Of course while playing Edward 7 Cans we watched the back half of Gettysburg. In the past 4 days I have not come home and Gettysburg wasn't on. Sometimes we watch it multiple times in one day. It's 4 1/2 hours.

Gettysburg + Edward 7 Cans = Bliss

News

The bad news:
I've been bested by the City of Ann Arbor again. For me to get a chicken permit, my landlord, and every one of my neighbor landlords would have to ok it. Also, all of my neighbor landlords would have to sign a waiver to build it within 40 feet of their houses. Also, the coop would have to be 10 feet from the property lines. I am greatly upset.

The good news:
With my employment put to a vote, the verdict was 3-2 to not fire me. When I first started driving buses one of my trainers said he would be surprised if I lasted 2 weeks. Well, I've made it 2 years. But they are actively looking for a reason to fire me. So that's the good news.

I Rule at Fantasy Football

Ever since 2001 I have done a fantasy football league with my Friends from high school. I am a perennial favorite to win the championship. In the 7 years we have done it I have finished in the top two six times. I have only outright won it once though. I even recovered after wasting a first round pick on Tiki Barber 2 years ago. We even have a sweet trophy that the winner each year gets.

In recent years we have switched over to a keeper league in which I dominate. We keep five players from last years team. My team was so stacked that I had to give up Calvin Johnson and Antonio Gates. Also, since I finished first last year I had to draft last in the draft. I wasn't sure who to keep with my 5th keeper. It was between Romo and Calvin Johnson. I knew if I gave up Romo that I wouldn't get him back but I thought there was a chance that I could get Calvin back. As it turns the guy with the pick before me had to choose between Calvin and Chad Johnson, and went with Calvin. I still think Chad Johnson is a good consolation pick.

Here is my draft results. On the right is the round and overall pick and on the left is the average Yahoo draft pick. The first 5 are keepers so there average Yahoo draft pick doesn't matter to me.

1. (8) Adrian Peterson
2. (16) Terrell Owens
3. (24) Andre Johnson
4. (32) Jamal Lewis
5. (40) Tony Romo
6. (48) Chad Johnson (31.3)
7. (56) Darren McFadden (53.2)
8. (64) San Diego (62.8)
9. (72) Fred Taylor (102.2)
10. (80) Javon Walker (102.5)
11. (88) Vernon Davis (72.1)
12. (96) Jay Cutler (96.4)
13. (104) Patrick Crayton (105.3)
14. (112) Rashard Mendenhall (110.2)
15. (120) Seattle (127.8)
16. (128) Tony Scheffler (123.3)
17. (136) Robbie Gould (133.4)

For the most part I was getting players after their average draft pick which means that I was picking up the good talent after they should have been on the board. Like I got Chad Johnson 17 picks after he normally went. It appears that I did overvalue Fred Taylor by about 20 picks. I guess with Maurice Jones-Drew getting all the hype people have been wary to draft an aging injury prone Taylor. The way I see it though is that my 4th back is a pro-bowler who will get the bulk of the carries between the 20 yard lines. Plus in the last 4 games of the 2007 season he averaged 7.7 yards per carry. I really don't know why I thought so much of Javon Walker. I weighed the idea of the premier receiver in Oakland over the fact that the 20th overall pick in the 2002 draft wanted to return his signing bonus and retire. Overall though I think I had one of the better drafts in the league.

I think that Seattle defense will be unexpectedly good and San Deigo even without Merriman will still be tough. I love to draft young talent like McFadden. While I expect total domination, I do have to deal with the team that has Brady, Moss, Brian Westbrook, Marshawn Lynch, Larry Johnson and Calvin Johnson.

On a side note, I don't know which is harder to believe, Chad Johnson saying he could beat Michael Phelps at swimming or Lou Holtz predicting Notre Dame winning 11 games this year.

Chicken Names

Although I don't yet have any chickens yet, I have already thought of names for them. Here we go;

Elwood Blues
Garth Algar
Francis ("Frank") "Ponch" Poncherello
Bonesaw McGraw

I will decide which is which based on their personalities. Relating to TMNT:

Elwood - Leonardo
Garth - Michelangelo
Ponch - Donatello
Bonesaw - Raphael

Elwood is going to be my favorite.

I know I need more Chickens if I want to get Jake Blues, Wayne Campbell and John Baker.

Doesn't taste half bad

When I was a kid my dad held the firm belief that you could put anything into Mac and Cheese. We had it all, and most of it was pretty good. I remember eating Mac and Cheese with all sorts of things in it including, peas, hot dogs, green pepper, ranch dip, onion, coleslaw, and summer sausage, just to name a few. I distinctly remember one time having Mac and Cheese with a can of baked beans mixed in. I don't have any explanation to why that couldn't have been just a side dish (also, not so good). Once as a kid I combined my two favorite foods, Oreo's and mustard. It was then that I found out that two good things don't necessarily combine to form something better.

One of the nice things about being in Chicago this summer is that I can cook in a kitchen that isn't in the Box house. I thought that I would be making great dinners. My cubiclemate always tells me about the dinners he made the previous night; Beef Enchiladas, Chicken Parmigiana, Beef Wellington. I tell him what I ate for dinner: Spaghetti with Prego, Michelinas, Cereal. He says that I just eat college food, and he is probably right.

One of my main staples is grilled cheese. I might eat between 6-8 grilled cheese's a week. Mostly, I love sprucing up my grilled cheese with whatever is in the fridge. You know what I have found? Every sauce tastes good on a grilled cheese. Some variations I have tried include, Tabasco, mustard (sans Oreo), ketchup, BBQ, onion dip, other cheese, pogs, Russian dressing, horseradish and a few others. They were all delicious. I would suggest next time you sit down to cook up a cheeser, you grab whatever sauce or salad dressing you have in the fridge and slop it on.

Happy Cheesing!

Why? Because I Can.

Last week Ann Arbor's new Backyard Chicken Ordinance went into effect. It allows me to raise up to 4 hens behind the box house. Things I still have to do:

*Get neighbors permission. Basically, getting drunk with Chirs Orr.
*Apply for the $20 permit
*Build the Cooper Howell Honorary Chicken Coop
*Buy chickens

Then I can do all the cool things that come along with raising chickens, like eating a homemade chicken tender omelet.

I would be feeling better right now if...

... last night I hadn't done any one of the following.

• Eaten $9 of KFC for dinner
  
• Gorged myself at an open bar from 6-9
  
• Bought a 40 of Mickeys from another bar
• Met up with my cousin who bought me shots
• Entered into a hundred dollar contest to see who could pick up a girl
  
• Getting so drunk that my cousin had to get me a cab home
• Getting kicked out of said cab for being too drunk
• Immediately puking after getting out of aforementioned cab
• Passing out the wrong way on my bed with all of my clothes on

I would prefer to wallow all day, but there is a keg of Oberon waiting for me on a roof.

Brian Almost Gets Arrested

With only a few weeks left in Chicago this summer I am trying to cram in all the stuff I want to do. On Tuesday night I went with one of the other interns down to the Sox-Tigers game at Comiskey. The ride down was interesting because the train was half filled with Cubs fans going home after the day game and the other half filled with Sox fans going to the night game. We scalped two tickets and were pleasantly surprised that there were a large number of Tigers fans at the game. The game was close throughout and the Sox fought back to take it to extra innings. Even in extras, after every inning people would leave because it was a Tuesday night. We never even considered leaving. The game ended when Nick Swisher hit a 2 run homer in the bottom of the 14th. It would have been nice to see a Tigers win though. Since the game went 5 hours, I didn't get home until 1:30, but I would easily do it again.

Then yesterday (Wednesday) one of the interns, Ryan, who kinda looks like Steve Holt (STEVE HOLT!), invited us up to Evanston to go to an open bar at Northwestern. I headed up a bit earlier because I wanted to check out the campus. Northwestern is located right on lake Michigan with the city of Evanston to the west. As with most of the college towns that I've been to I expected that the road between the campus and the town would be full of bookstores, restaurants and bars. Much like Grand River at MSU or University Ave in Gainesville. But instead there were just houses running all the way up the street. But something about the houses wasn't quite right. There weren't any red solo cups on the lawns or couches on the porches. There were however children's toys on the lawns and the elderly on the porches. Immediately surrounding Northwestern is an actual neighborhood. I was looking for the slums of the student ghetto. The campus itself is very nice but I with only 8,000 undergrads it really feels small for a Big Ten university.

I got to the bar a few minutes before 8 and was the very first customer of the day. Soon after the other interns showed up and then Ryan came with some girls. I couldn't believe it, I was at an open bar near a college campus and the place was empty. There were nine of us, and maybe about 5 other people in the bar. I realize it's a weeknight in the summer, but I bet if even if our worst bar (Touchdowns) had a $15 open bar it would be packed. The CO2 canister blew so the bar was only serving well drinks, this was a guaranteed one way ticket to drunktown. Once it got down to 40 minutes until the open bar ended, it became a race to drink as much as possible. I was slamming G n' T's with one of the girls, Liz, and convincing a random stranger to pay $1 so the jukebox would play Miley Cryus.

While at the bar we decided to go to the beach on the campus, after being told stories of Ryan hiding from the cops after sneaking in late one night. We grabbed some towels from one of the girls places and started walking towards the beach. By this time I was drunk, and I needed to pee. I slowed down and walked behind a bush and did what I had to do. Just as I was tucking in and zipping up I noticed a light shining on me from behind. The voice holding the flashlight said "What do you think your doing?"
I replied "Don't worry about it."
This is probably the worst thing to say to a cop. Well, I take that back. I think the time I told one of Ann Arbor's finest to "Fuck Off" was worse. Once I realized that my balls were in a salad shooter, I immediately apologized and started talking to him. Turns out he has been working for Northwestern for about a year and is planning on going to the police academy in the fall. My long standing belief that the best way to deal with the law is to be polite and cooperative paid off because he said he wasn't going to write me a ticket. I walked up the street with him and up to our group who all thought I was fucked. Instead I introduced him to everyone and we talked to him for a bit. He noticed our towel and said "If your going to the beach I'm not going to follow you, but if you get caught I can't help you." Which was pretty cool for the guy who just caught me going pee pee in public. I forgot to mention that the entire time I had a Miller Lite in my pocket.

You didn't think that was me almost getting arrested did you?

So we jumped the fence and snuck onto the beach. Once down to the beach, Liz took me by the hand and told me to come in with her. I threw off my shirt and shorts and we ran into the water. We raced to a buoy about 40 meters away from shore. It was there, shoulder deep in the warm water of lake Michigan and underneath the summer stars, that I had the most romantic kiss of my life. Soon after everyone else was in the water and hanging out. Not too long after that we saw the spotlight of a cop car from the parking lot. I ran up the beach, got my things and took off south. My exit route had been blocked by another cop who shined his light at me. As a immediate response I dropped to the ground. All this did was get me soaking wet. I then crawled into a large patch of bushy grasses. I was 21 years old and still running from the cops like I was 17.



I was in a pretty good spot but I could hear the cops saying that if I give up now I won't be arrested. They were searching the area and one of the cops came within 20 feet of me. I heard on the radio that they had apprehended 4 people already I decided to stay put because they only way they would find me is if they brought out a dog or a helicopter. Then I heard a dog barking and a cop say "go get em boy". I guess the dog got on the scent of one of the other kids because it didn't come near me. I waited about an hour and a half and then low-crawled to the parking lot. Everyone else made it out, and the one who got caught only got warnings. By this time the train had stopped running for the night and we were still sandy and wet. I didn't make it home until 3:30 and then had to shower before I went to bed. I came into work an hour and a half late and missed my first meeting of the day. The good news is that we have plans to go back up next Wednesday.