On Running

A note: I have no expertise or background in what I'm about to write. This is all straight from my mind, and somewhat stream-of-consciousness.

My current housing arraignment has me living on some beautiful cliffs overlooking the ocean. Beyond the crowds that gather nightly to watch the sunset, I've noticed the constant stream of runners going back and forth along the cliffs, much like the running paths along Lake Michigan in Chicago on a warm May evening. I too have been lured off the couch and on to the dirt paths that wind along the top of the cliffs with their mighty views of the Pacific.

This week many of my new co-workers participated as an Ultra team in a Ragnar race from Huntington Beach down to San Diego. It's a 180 mile non-stop 6 man relay race. Each member of the team runs roughly 30 miles over the course of 30-some hours. And they each paid over $300 and each took a vacation day for the privileged. Why would they do that?

Today, while running I was thinking about running, which is usually what I think about when I run. Mostly I think about when I can stop running without feeling like a fatass (which might ruin my internet creditably). But I was also thinking about why people go running. Lot's of people run. In fact, I bet if you if you polled American people my age you would find that as many people have gone for a run in the past year as have gone to the movies. I personally find the movies much more enjoyable. But why do so many people run purely for recreation?

I guess I should make a note on the recreational aspect. I would venture that most of the runners I see are simple running for themselves as a hobby, which probably makes it a very popular hobby, despite the lack of running club memberships, which I guess makes me want to go back and re-read Bowling Alone. Many runners are just running because they want to run. Their job doesn't require them to be able to run long distances, they have no monetary gain in running. They simply run because they decide they want to run. This is especially confusing since there are very few circumstances in modern society that would require running miles at one time. Therefore I assume people run just because they have a desire to run? Where does that desire come from?

That's really what I asked myself as I struggled up a rather small and surmountable hill. As far as I'm aware running for recreation is a relatively new concept and is primarily an American (or at least western) concept. I don't think many people went running 100 years ago. Perhaps because daily life was taxing enough that after hours of chopping firewood the idea of getting physical exercise was a little unnecessary. Yes, perhaps it is an instinctual response to an ever sedentary lifestyle, much like my hamster Stinky's desire to run in his wheel all night.

But why would running be instinctual? Humans don't seem like terrific runners. We're quite slow and have poor endurance. I think that was the reason humans domesticated the horse and cattle and sled-dogs. We're not naturals at moving ourselves. Although many have heard of African tribesmen who run their hunting targets down until they die of exhaustion, so perhaps way deep down we still long for a good run, and we've only found that desire in the past 50 years?

No, no, no. There must be more. I hate running, but I still do it. My other theory is that the pleasure of running outweighs the terribleness of running. I don't run out of excitement, I run out of shame. The shame of sitting on the couch all day eating frozen food is the only motivation I have to run. Afterwards I feel slightly less ashamed of myself. So in that I think I have found something. It makes me feel like we run not out of duty or instinct, but that we run out of a desire to be productive and live everyday with the goal of doing something good and making ourselves sightly better. And somehow the good feelings that come from going on a run can somewhat outweight how awful running really is.

Seriously, I hate running almost as much as I hate blogging.

Texts With Strangers Part 4

Tonight wasn't the first, second or even third time I've chatted it up with a random number that has texted me. Read on my followers, read on.


Random: This is Benjamin Franklin who is dis 
Me: This be James K Polk. What's up Benji? 
Random: Hello Mr. Polk. How u do today? U comin to da party at 3427 Hollywood Dr tonite? 
Random: Mr. Polk please elaborate with a response 
Me: What city is that in? 
Random: Uhh Mr. Polk you should no where Hollywood is. It is located in Hollywood, CA near LA 
Me: That's a little far Mr. Franklin. I fear I would be a bit late my good sir.
Random: Really? Where do reside Mr. Polk? Did my colleague Thomas contact you yet?
Me: I reside in the enchanted lands of the pacific northwest. Mister Thomas did not grace me with communication.
Random:  Mr. Thomas said that you claim to be Mr. Dave Strider from the great state of Texas? If that is true, then you have lied to two federal government employees.
Me:  As a fellow civil servant I cannot lie. I am neither the Honorable Dave Strider nor the affable James K Polk. I believe I have been the recipient of some false communication.
Random:  My colleague from Montana (special agent Desharnais) and I have traced your satellite location to Waterford, MI and your listed as Mr. Craig Borowski. Is this correct information sir?
Me:  That's a negative ghostrider. I know not of the gentlemen of which you speak.

Random: Sir, if you happen to be giving false information to special undercover agents of INTERPOL then you are committing a federal offense and we will send a few Feds to your location to sort things out. 

Random: As you lie, we are gathering more information Mr. Craig Borowski was a graduate of U of M, correct?
Me: I cannot attest to the factual accuracy of that information
Random:  Do you know of an individual by the name of skyrimwarrior on xbox live?
Me:  I'm afraid I do not.
Random:  Do you happen to know of an individual who is listed as your son (Nick Borowski)? To inform you, Nick is currently under government surveillance for "stealing copyrighted music" from a well known music downloader that has been recently investigated and taken over.
Me:  Do I happen to know my own son? Regretfully I have not met him. Will he be attending tonight's party?
Random:  Mr. Borowski, the party was a set up to try and get some written information from you. This happens to be Jude Sundquist. Have a nice day.
Me:  Ahh a classic Ruse. Well played my good man! Well played!


I have no idea what just transpired. At first I thought we were going with a urban-historical style but soon found myself using a more regal Victorian tone before finally finishing in some sort of polite interrogation. 

More texts with strangers

I have a knack for making friends with the random strangers that text me. Tonight was no exception.

Random: hi
Me: Hello
Random: Who is this?
Me: Brian. Who is this?
Random: Last name?
Me: Is 'Lastname' your name? This relationship is only going to work if it is based on honesty.
Random: ?
Random: Whats ur last name?
At this point I get a phone call from an obviously pre-pubescent boy. We chat for awhile, I tell them that I am watching Avatar and they tell me about the bonfire they are at. They sound like pretty cool dudes for 8th graders. It's Mike and his friend Grant. I tell them that we could talk again later.

Me: Do you know Mike from U of D?
Random: Yes...
Me: I was just talking to him and he is at a bonfire. You should go.
Random: uh ok.
Me: What's your name? It's totally unfair that you know my name and I don't know yours.
Random: It's liesl
Me: That's a pretty unique name. So liesl, I'm pretty sure we've never met. But we can still be friends if you want.
Random: Otay
Me: Great, I'm guessing you're from Detroit, I grew up there but now I live in Seattle
Random: Yeah i am
Me: I always thought the 'burbs kinda sucked. Ann Arbor is much more fun.
Random: I dnt care
Me: Well you sure are a barrell of fun. Maybe. we'll talk later new friend.
Random: Sorry im just pissed off at some people and im kinda taking it out on u
Me: I'm sorry about that. How did you get my cell number anyways?
Random: Grant H******
Me: Haha I wonder if that was the kid who called me earlier with his friend Mike
Random: I think so haha

So I now feel like a have a vested interested in the lives of these kids. I feel like I could make a difference in their lives if only given a chance. I think that Mike and Liesl belong together, and I think Mike is totally fucking it up, by playing these stupid pranks on her. I'll have to keep up on the situation and try to report back.

Texts with a stranger Part 2

So my new friend Joel texted me again this morning and a great conversation ensued. Only this time Joel texted me from a different number, which I thought was weird but he explains why. Read on.

Joel: hey it joel again !$exy time!
Me: Hey Joel. I gotta know, did Morgan agree to go out with you?
Joel: Is this morgan or brian !$exy time!
Me: This is Brian
Joel: o sorry brian who !$exy time!
Me: I don't think we know each other. Anyways did you ever get a hold of Morgan?
Me: She sounded like a babe when you called her 'sexy pants'
Joel: ya she said yea so wot ur last name !$exy time!
Me: Why do you want to know my last name? And what's which the new phone number Joel?
Joel: idk cause i want to meet u and this is my friends fone so waz the other 1 !$exy time!
Me: Why do you want to meet me? I already told you that I just see you as a friend.
Joel: ik i'm not gay i jus wana know ur last name come on please !$exy time!
Me: Perhaps sometime in the future once we're better texting buddies. Anyways do you ever get blackout drunk and hit on ugly girls? Because that's what I did last night.
Joel: how old r u !$exy time!
Me: 22. How old are you Joel?
--20 minutes later--
Me: Where did you go? Are you taking a really smelly dump? Because I don't mind if you text while you take a crap. Just as long as you aren't jerking it to my responses.
Joel: wot? !$exy time!

Texts with a stranger

248: Hey morgan it b joel booth how r u
Me: Hi. This isn't Morgan. I think you might have the wrong number
248: O sorry
248: Wot ur name
Me: Brian. Don't worry about the wrong number.
248: Hey do u wanna go out sexy pants
Me: I'm sorry Joel. You seem like a really nice guy but I've always seen you as more of a friend
248: Is this morgan?
Me: No man. It's not Morgan. It's a dude. A dude who doesn't want to go out with you.