Party on Wayne!

Note: This was originally posted on 1/19/07 but had to be taken down due to potential legal reasons. Its now reposted.

Last night we had a house party. It was fun. It was uber fun. Why was it so fun? Because it was free. Instead of us buying kegs and cups, the Pike rush budget bought them. At 9pm last night were all sitting around the house watching Billy Madison when a SUV pulls up and a bunch of pledges haul three kegs into our living room. Three kegs bought by the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity. When Fritz told me that Pike was having a party at our house I weighed the pros and cons. Pros: Free Beer, Sorority Girls, House Cup, and its close to home. Cons: Frat Boys. But I countered that by inviting my friends. It was the best house party that 510 Benjamin has ever thrown in the post Jake Luckett era. It was great, even Mario Manningham showed up. Mario Manningham was in my house, touching my floors, drinking my beers, peeing on my toilet seats, hitting on my hoez. That was pretty cool. We had my old gateway hooked up to the sound system and we blasted some great 90's hits, danced and laughed the night away. We all had a good chuckle when Eugene Germany got blackout and whipped out his junk and started rubbing it on Bartles's sister. For those of you who may not know, Eugene Germany is the 280 pound defensive end for the wolverines. He looks like this:
[Photo]I'm Gonna EAT your children!

He also was dancing with Mattes ex-girlfriend, it was classy. It was a great house party and by doing a quick red cup analysis it was estimated that about 400 people were holding it down at 510 Benji. I really cant wait for the next time Pike buys us 3 kegs. And who says fraternities are useless?

Finally an alternative to Panda Express

North Campus is notorious for its lack of dining options. As an engineering student who spends all day on North Campus I regularly have to choose between the following few establishments;
1 Panda Express - Its good, but I cant consume it more than once a week. Also its moderately expensive.
2 Commons Cafe - Its bad food and its expensive, but it does taste like home cooked food.
3 Staches Sandwiches - There sandwiches aren't that good and their like 5 bucks.
4 UGo's - A convience store that sells like chips and soda and candy.

Thats it on the entire campus. Compare that with any block on South U. But I was talking to my friend who is on the North Campus Advisory Committee, and he told me that Staches was going to be replaced by another establishment. One of the proposed restaurants is a Quiznos. Upon hearing this I was elated. There currently are no Quiznos on campus and the nearest two are at Main and Ann Arbor-Saline and at Plymouth and Huron Parkway. I looked over the proposition and its looks awesome. As a former Quiznos employee I really hope that the NCAC chooses Quiznos as the new eatery in Peirpoint Commons. Among other choices is a Bistro, but its proposition was riddled with spelling mistakes and would probably be too expensive for college students. I would really like to see a Quiznos on North Campus by my second senior year.

Oh Man, Im totally the funiest engineer evar!

There have been a few things from the past couple of days that would normally be perfect away message content, but due to my lack of compooooter are now very blogable.

I was in my Ergonomics lecture yesterday when our professors put this picture on the overhead:


He then asked us what we saw, and despite knowing I am not longer in high school I still had to blurt out, "It looks like 2 chicks about to make out!" It was fabulous, I had an entire 120 person lecture laughing. I felt like that guy that everyone wanted to sit next to. Which was weird because I always sit alone. That made me feel good.

Still Dissappointed Michigan Football

Its been 2 weeks since I watched Michigan lose another Rose Bowl. Its hard to watch a team that stared out 11-0 drop both of their last 2 games and finish the season ranked 8th. It adds one more season to the lists of seasons that we could have won the national championship.

Every year it seems that we have a shot at it and every year be come back without a National Championship and without a Bowl Win.
The last 3 years:
2006 preseason ranking: 14 Final Ranking: 8
2005 preseason ranking: 4 Final Ranking: Unranked
2004 preseason ranking: 8 Final Ranking: 14
2003 preseason ranking: 4 Final Ranking: 4

Every year we start in the top 15. So why has it been a decade since our last national championship? The answer is quite simple. Lloyd Carr gets out coached in every big game we play in. Through the last 4 years Lloyd Carr's record vs Top 10 teams is 3-5. His bowl record in the last 4 years is 0-4.

Its not just that he cant win the big games that bothers me. He also has trouble winning games that should be gimmes. In the last 4 years we have lost 5 games vs unranked teams. (Oregon 2003, Note Dame and Ohio State 2004, Wisconsin and Minnesota 2005). This is completely unacceptable. And although we didn't lose to an unranked team this year, things were eerily quiet in the big house during the 4th quarter of the Ball State game.

Lets look at how the team has done against the spread. The spread being the predicted margin of victory should give a good idea of how well a team is playing.
Michigan Football Against the Spread:
2006: 7-5-1
2005: 5-7
2004: 5-7
2003: 8-4-1
In the past 4 years 25-23-2 against the spread. In the past 4 bowl games we are 1-3 against the spread. This year we missed the spread in all 4 of our non conference games. We didn't barely not make the spread, we missed the spread by an average of 12 points a game.

So why is our team struggling so much? Is it the talent? No. every year we have top recruiting classes and just as much talent as any other top program. Is it the facilities? No. We have the largest stadium in college football and some of the best training facilities. Is it low support from alumni and student? No. I don't think anyone can argue that the University of Michigan isn't nuts about Michigan Football. Is it injuries? No. Our team is usually healthy. So what is it?

Its Lloyd Carr's refusal to adapt to his opponents. Offensively our scheme hasn't changed. We continue to run the ball up the gut in a "three yards and a cloud of dust" style that worked for Schembechler but isn't imaginative enough for today's game. Our Offense is so predictable, we run the same stretch play that never gets more than 4 yards. When was the last time that Michigan ran a trick play. When was the last time we've had a mobile quarterback. When was the last time we did an option. And if you consider the direct snap to Bass to be witty I don't think their is one defensive coordinator that doesn't know what will happen when Henne lines up in the shotgun with Bass at HB. On defense we can't stop the pass and don't produce sacks or turnovers that many top teams do. In the 2004 Rose Bowl Vince Young ran all over us in the first half. We we came out in the second half and he still ran all over us. We knew what a threat he was on the ground and we still weren't able to stop him. With our level of talent we shouldn't be letting teams like Ball State score 26 points on us.

I don't think that Michigan will ever win another National Championship with Lloyd Carr at the helm. And as long as him and Bill Martin are butt buddies things aren't looking good. How can we support a coach that took a number 4 preseason ranked team and had them unranked by losing a bowl game we were expect to win by 10 points.

Bruce Campbell Old Spice Commercial

So were sitting around the house on Saturday and the Jets/Pats game is on CBS and were watching Clone Wars on YouTube when a commercial came on that has taken over our lives.

Instantly we had to see it again. For 3 days we searched the internet high and low. Being a firm believer that everything is on the internet if you look hard enough I finally found it. Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af1OxkFOK18

"If you haven't seen it, people will know..."

How have I not been fired yet?

I have a relatively easy job. I drive a bus. I get paid 10$ an hour to drive people around Ann Arbor. I meet friendly people and get to listen to my Ipod. 

But to really understand my job you have to understand days like today. By not scheduling Friday classes I hoped I could devote an entire day to Mario Kart and Halo. But my boss decided that Fridays are also good days to work from 10 hours, from 8am to 6pm. Luckily I am scheduled to drive the PT bus which constists of driving the handicapped to and from class. Here is a timeline of my day. 7:57 - Catch bus to work 8:02 - Get to work, don't get yelled at for being late or disregarding the dress code 8:14 - Realize that my PT bus is nowhere to be found 8:30 - Get a ride to my bus which is north of north campus 8:40 - Pick up Caroline, who injured her knee playing club soccer. She is pretty cute, so I talk to her. She tells me she is living in 607 E. Hoover next year. I laugh. 9:00 - I come back to base and start a blog. 10:00 - I go to pick up Ruth who is has no reason to need paratranist, she can walk, but i guess she is just really lazy. Also she is a schizophrenic. No joke. 10:10 - I pick up Caroline again and drive her to the EECS building. Instead of dropping her off on the curb and having her hobble, I drive right onto the north campus diag and down the sidewalk. Like I said, she is cute. 10:25 - I get bored with work and go home to play Mario Kart. I don't tell my boss, and still get paid. 11:40 - My boss calls. She tells me I need to go pick up this girl. She has no clue that I'm at home. 12:00 - I go to pick up this girl. Her mom is there. Her mom goes to class with her. She is late, I don't talk to either of them. 12:40 - I get back to base and ask my boss if I can go home and eat lunch. She says I can. I am still getting paid. 2:10 - I come back to work. I drive some people around. I drive Ruth it the AATA bus station so she can get the bus to go to her car. SHE HAS A FUCKING CAR! WTF? Why does she take the AATA bus and the U of M Paratrinsit. Fucking buy a parking permit you crazy nut. 3:30 - I almost get hit by a freight train. 4:00 - My last pick up is a no show. I drive back to base and wait until 6:00 to go home. I type this and listen to my Ipod. I count that I only actually spent 2 hours driving people around. I think this is the easiest 100$ that you can make in a day. So while I hate working Fridays, I cant say no. And please don't forward this to my boss.

So your telling me this is how to get Chicks?

I hear chicks dig guys with huge blogs. Its true, who wouldn't want a guy who immediately goes home a blogs about every event in his life?

The decision to start a blog was not an easy One. In fact I had been grappling with the thought for quite some time. I needed a place to let my friends know about all the stuff that happens in my life that was too juicy for an away message but not juicy enough for a mass email. Unfortunately I decided to start blogging and the most inconvenient of times. It was the same day the motherboard on my HP died. So my initial blog post is being done from the computer at work.

The first problem with starting a blog is naming it. I didn't want to call my blog something lame like "Brian's World" Although that would have been a viable name if my first name were Wayne, but its not. I didn't want to be like the cocktease at Brian Russell who named their blog Russell's Ramblings. I wanted something cool and edgy. I wanted something that will grab your attention and make you say, "That's soooooo Bruss". Dammit, that might have been a better name than muttonchops, but then again muttonchops are hilarious so ill take it. (On a side note, when I first went to publish this post this morning I found out that I didn't know how to spell muttonchops so the address muttenchops.blogspot seemed a bit retarded, so I had to repost it under an address I could spell.)

My goal for this blog is to share some of my life and thoughts with my "friends". So please bear with my lack of spelling and respect for common grammar. Ideas for good posts keep coming and now that I have a blog ill be rocking out posts like its my job, which reminds me I have to go drive a fucking bus.