E-Mail Legend

How do I know I am a Campus Legend at Michigan? Because 8 months after I graduate they are still detailing my exploits in the Michigan Daily. Last April I detailed the horrific disaster of group emailing. The post, including what I had emailed is here.

I send out this email as a joke, write the blog post and go on my merry way. Fast forward 8 months. The daily writes a story where they quote (actually misquote) the email I wrote.

It wasn’t, of course, the end. Later on, the 65th response took frustration to a new level.

“I swear that if any one else replies to all I will hunt you down on the umich directory and disable every electronic device that they own.,” it read. “I will convert your keyboard layout to Swahili. / The person who sent out the original e-mail spammed a group that she does not control. SHE CANT TAKE YOU OFF THE MAILING LIST. You have to e-mail the owner to be removed. DON’T EMAIL THE ENTIRE GROUP TO BE REMOVED. Seriously learn some email etiquette.”

That's how I know. 8 months after I graduate The Daily publishes emails I wrote.

More like the Worst of Ann Arbor.

The Daily's Best of Ann Arbor came out yesterday.

Apparently the Ark is the best club, Ashley's is the best bar and Village Corner is the best liquor store.

Whatever.

But when they say the U Towers are the best apartments I must insist they are joking. U Towers are the most run down, dingy apartments. There is a reason why you get a free hot dog just for touring their apartments. They are completely terrible.

The worst one though was that they named Wilson White the best realtor. That is terrible. They demand the rent must be paid by one check. They don't do even the most basic maintenance and they charge us a $217.50 late fee every month. They are a evil organization with absolutely no ethics.

Surprisingly though the places that won, were also the very same places that bought advertising in the "Best of Ann Arbor" section.

The Daily Editorial Page Doesn't Know Statistics.

I usually only skim the editorial page of the daily. It's almost as bad as daily arts, which gave The Dark Knight 4.5/5 stars and then called it the best movie ever. HOW DO YOU GET THE 5th STAR?

But the real reason I check out the editorial page is for the letters to the editors that I wish I had written like this one:

The Daily's story Tuesday about a student government effort to change intramural sports scoring (Students: IM scoring policy is sexist, 09/23/2008) is a prime example of why the majority of this campus takes our student government to be an absolute joke. Every year I am bombarded with candidates’ flyers promising me reduced textbook costs and increased campus safety. Instead of solving these problems, I read that some LSA Student Government representatives are labeling a "B” level intramural soccer scoring system as an “urgent” issue concerning our student body.

If the LSA-SG represntatives behind this, Steven Benson and Kim Buddin, have such an issue with the scoring, they should play in the “A” league and quit wasting our time. Is this what our student government really debates behind closed doors? With the recent rash of burglaries across campus and continually increasing tuition costs, shouldn’t they be focusing their efforts elsewhere?

Perhaps I should run during the next election. My platform would consist of free unicorn rides to North Campus and orange soda in every drinking fountain on campus. In the end, I would fulfill just as many promises as the current student government does.

Alex Whang
LSA senior

That was in response to MSA spending almost an entire meeting talking about how it's sexist that women get 2 points for scoring a goal in B level IM soccer. That's why I enjoy watching MSA waste time. But then again, no one ever voted for Mr. Russell.

The one editorial that really stood to point out how inept the daily is was the one about stadium accessibility. I feel I must respond. For those who didn't read it, the premise was that the University's was wrong in its belief that it wouldn't be able to sell enough handicapped seats at football games. The Daily argued that because the University sold a vast majority of the seats this year "administrators should have every reason to believe that tickets for the rest of the wheelchair-accessible seats will sell well when the renovations are complete."

Now for some background, the U increased the number of handicapped seats from 92 to 184 this year. The article stated that it sold between 74 to 89 percent of these seats. So that breaks down to 136 seats at the season low, and 164 in the season high. So my question is, if they are at the maximum selling only 164 seats, what makes the Daily think that the U will sell the 329 handicapped seats that agreed to provide in the future. I don't know the individual numbers but even at the most extreme values it is in the tens of standard deviations that they will sell all 329 handicapped seats. Also, it could be noted the the number of Americans in wheelchairs is decreasing, and the population of the state of Michigan is also decreasing. Sure it was a rough year, but the proportion of people who come to games in wheelchairs isn't going to magically double with a few more wins. The Daily writers should be able to figure this out.

Now for the fun part.

So, 2 years from now there will 329 handicapped seats in the stadium, and I approximate that they will only be selling 180 a game (high estimate). So that leaves 165 unattended seats a game. Each one of those handicapped seats takes up about 12 regular seats (call Sam and confirm). So what does that add up to? 1,980 fans won't be able to watch each game in the big house. Which will be about 15,840 people a season. Those 15,840 fans would have paid about $50 a ticket, so now the settlement will end up costing the Athletic Department $792,000 a season. That's some serious money. But maybe they deserve it for trying to get away with calling what they are doing a repair not a renovation, which was just dumb.

What they should have done is used basic forecasting to estimate the number of Handicapped tickets they would expect to sell, and then made enough to fullfill a large service rate. Then each game they could make enough handicapped seats to fulfill handicapped seating 95% of the time, and turned the rest of the space into temp seating. Instead they just cleared out rows of the stadium and are praying that exactly 329 people in wheelchairs want to watch a Michigan Football game.

Instead of criticizing the Athletic Department, The Daily should have realized that the Athletic Department was right, and there is no possible way they will fill all of those seats. Then The Daily should have done some sleuthing and found what the actual numbers were and found out just how unlikely it would be for them to sell those seats given current demand rates. Next they should have realized how this settlement will negatively affect a large number of fans. Next, they should have offered a solution to the problem. Instead, they said, "Accessibility Sells!" the University is dumb, lets make sure we include everyone, even if it means that we can't include 1,980 other people.


As a side note, one thing that no one ever seems to mention is that the Stadium is still not up the ADA standards. All we have done is simply settled out of court with the only group to ever sue us. I don't think that sets a precedent, seeing as we are still in violation of the law. Not to give anyone ideas, but if I was a PSU fan and I had the money, I would sue the shit out Michigan to get the title of largest stadium in America. Just a thought, lawyer friends care to weigh in?

Also today the Daily ran a lengthy editorial defending Furries. What type of crap newspaper is this?

Box house: we're big on page 6C

There is an article in the paper today about the box house. Did you know Tom Champion started the box house?

Here is the link to the story.
http://www.michigandaily.com/content/2008-10-22/party-must-go

I'm just getting all sorts of press coverage these days.

Brian Writes A Letter to the Editor

Today was my first communication with The Daily since the crossword war of 2007. I wrote the editor in response to this article in The Daily. Surprisingly it wasn't The Daily I took issue with, it was the landlords off Ann Arbor. They only allow three hundred words but I would have liked to have put in more. Here it is:

I would like to respond to yesterday’s article on the planned apartment building at S. University and S. Forest. It appears that most of the “more than a dozen” people that spoke against it were landlords. Of course they are against it, as long as they can get away with charging exorbitant amounts of money for sub-standard housing why wouldn’t they be?

Why should they care if there is enough demand to fill the proposed apartment complex? All that would equate to is cheaper rent and the more affordable housing they themselves seem to falsely desire. The notion that “The University is not adding 1,400 people to enrollment just so these people can fill up University Village, It will come from rental properties that constitute the neighborhoods stretching down State and Hill and other streets.” What, supply and demand? Competition? By the way, enrollment for Fall07 was up over a thousand students from Fall06. While at the same time no new large-scale housing projects were completed.

Personally from the large number of BMW’s I see around campus and the parents paying $50,000 a year to send their kids to school I think there is a demand for nice housing close to campus.

Last year residents were complaining that students were moving too far south down State Street and now when a practical solution comes along they call it “absurd.” What is absurd is that one of their major concerns is the pizza delivery. Yeah, cancel the project because of the unsolvable pizza delivery problem.

This building would only make Ann Arbor a better place. Perhaps if built, this project would give landlords incentive to improve their properties or stop charging such heinous rent.

Brian Russell
Engineering Junior

P.S. There are 3 pizza places within 2 blocks of the site.

The Best of Crime Notes

I have long been a fan of the Michigan Daily's summation of crimes reported to DPS. I have complied a top 10 list of some of the funniest crime notes I have read in my tenure.

10. Door stolen from Markley room - 9/22/04
The Department of Public Safety reports that a door was stolen from a room in Mary Markley Residence Hall yesterday at 2:30 a.m. The doorless room, 2123 Frost House, is in a men’s hallway. DPS has no suspects.

9. Man punched in head while boxing - 3/12/02
A man was struck in the head while boxing at the Central Campus Recreation Building Sunday afternoon, according to Department of Public Safety reports. He was not unconscious, although his speech was incoherent. He was transported to the University
Hospital's Emergency Room by Huron Valley Ambulance.

8. Mysterious liquid reported to DPS, found to be water - 3/18/05
A custodian at the Electrical Engineering building reported to DPS yesterday that there was some type of liquid coming from underneath a door. The spill was later investigated by the Occupational Safety and Environmental Health Department and identified as water.

7. Worker reports ripped pants - 11/1/04
An employee training at Michigan Stadium early Saturday morning called DPS to report that he accidentally ripped his pants while working.

6. Scrolls stolen, porn accessed at School of Ed. - 12/1/04
A caller reported to DPS on Monday that two Chinese scrolls were stolen from the School of Education and a computer was accessed to download pornography there.

5. Omelet stolen from University hospital - 11/07/05
Hospital security reported the larceny of an omelet at the University Hospital on Saturday around 11:15 a.m. The suspect was allegedly a patient in the psych ward that is currently under investigation, according to the Department of Public Safety

4. Girl slapped by stranger under West Hall arch - 9/23/05
A caller reported a man running up behind her and slapping her while she was walking under the West Hall arch yesterday late in the afternoon, the Department of Public Safety reported. She said the 28-year-old man was a stranger. DPS classified the man as highly intoxicated. The subject was arrested and then released until his warrant was authorized. The offense is a misdemeanor and could result in two years in prison.


3. Motorist punched in face by pedestrian - 3/23/05
A man reported to the Ann Arbor Police Department that he was punched in the face by a pedestrian while he was sitting in his car at a crosswalk on Monday afternoon.
The 30-year-old man said he was heading eastbound on Hill Street at about 4 p.m. when he stopped at a crosswalk at East University Avenue. The driver said a man crossing the street pointed at his front tire and said something. When the driver rolled down his window, the man walked over and punched the driver in the face.

2. Sexual remark appears on RA's board - 10/2/06

A sexual remark appeared on a female resident adviser's dry-erase board in Bursley Hall Saturday night, the Department of Public Safety reported. The remark read "My dick feels like corn." Police have no suspects.

1. Unknown person leaves feces in Bursley dorm room - 2/7/05
A caller reported to the Department of Public Safety that an unknown person had left a bowel movement in a Bursley Hall dorm room. The caller said the incident occurred while he and his roommate were asleep.