Brian Russell's Safari Apartment

I woke up this morning at 5:30am on 2 hours of sleep to go to work on a Sunday. As I was lying in bed wondering why I signed up to work, I could hear the varmint that lives in the ceiling above my bed scratch away at the drywall above me. That's ok, its not like he is going to fall from the ceiling onto my bed. I got up and walked through the living room and stepped on like 30 ants. There fine, they clean my carpet so I can't complain about them. As I turned on the light to the bathroom hallway I saw a few cockroaches scurry away. Cockroaches aren't cool, they give me the heebe jeebes. After I get my bathroom on, I go back to my room to put on some clothes, and on the door to my closet is a frog. A frog. It started hopping around my room, getting slime all over my stuff. Why an amphibious creature lives in my bedroom is a interesting query. But my biggest concern is that I know he is in my room, but I don't know where. I am afraid to go to bed, put on shoes, or open my closet doors because he could be anywhere. What if I wake up and its on my face? What if he is in my base killin' my doods. For all I know he is watching me right now, planning his next strike. Ahhhhh.