Drunkest Man in America

I went to DC for New Years. After waking up from a tremendous all-you-can-drink on Friday night, we proceeded directly to the bar at noon on Saturday to watch the Gator bowl. Because of the results we decided just keep drinking all day and all night.

Somewhere around hour 9 of 14 and bar number 4 we began wondering if we were any of us were approaching the title of drunkest man in DC. Clearly, one of us held the title of drunkest man in the bar we were at. But there was no way tell if any of us could claim the title of drunkest man in our nation's Capitol.

Human microchip implants are an existing technology. Cell phones with RFID readers exist. I'd wager that in 40 or 50 years microchips will be widely used in conjunction with cell phones for people to monitor their blood sugar, temp and other body statistics such as BAC. This could be very helpful for people that want to know if they are legal to drive a vehicle or need an insulin shot.

So it stands to reason that it could be possible to create a phone app that compares the BAC for a large number of people and output over what geographic area you are the drunkest man. I'm pretty sure there have been a few times that I've contended for DMIA. I've at least broached the top-100, and definitely have been the drunkest man in Ann Arbor. But until the future catches up, I'll have no way to know for sure.

Weenie Wacking

I mentioned Weenie Wacking in a previous post and promised to explain it.

About 9 months ago I was down in Houston visiting Mark, Val and McKaylee. They were talking about the going-ons back in Iowa and Val started telling us about a new fad sweeping their old high school. Apparently kids today sit in class and work up a semi-boners and then when the teachers turn towards the board they pull their ding-dongs out of their pants and whack it against their desks. The goal is to whack their quasi-bonered schlongs against the desk the longest and hardest without getting caught by the teachers.

When we were in high school we would play the Penis game, which involved progressively saying the word penis louder and louder without the teacher hearing. But this brings the game to a whole new level. I mean this is bordering on the criminal. I can't wait to see what kids are like in 20 years, it's going to be insane.

Daylight Savings Time

My favorite day of the year is June 21st because that is the day that it says light out the latest. I enjoy sunlight. I like being able to go out at night and have the last glimmering specs of twilight still present at 10pm. Today the sun went down at 4:18 here in Seattle. Sunrise was at 7:50, giving the city 8 and a half hours of the sun's ultraviolet glory. This corresponds almost perfectly to people's work schedules, effectively forcing people to drive to work in the dark and drive home in the dark. I find that criminally depressive and I've blogged about how I hate that the sunlight doesn't match up people's schedules. This year I took a stand, and changed nothing.

Yep I changed nothing, but everyone around me changed. Because I enjoy the extra hour of sunlight, I decided to stay on DST this winter. So far it has worked out terrifically. Basically I never set my clocks back an hour and it's great. I get out of bed at the same time as I have all year, but now I get to work an hour early. If I oversleep by an hour, I get to work right on time. I work my 8 hours and go home but it's an hour earlier in the day. I get an extra hour of sunlight and I can show up an hour late for anything and be right on time. For me the bars close at 3AM instead of 2AM and my Michigan Football games don't start at 9AM but at 10AM giving me what seems like an extra hour of sleep.

This could all be accomplished by converting back to standard time and adjusting my schedule. But for me it works because time is all about perception. I wouldn't be able to go to bed at 9:30PM usually but when I look at my clock and says 10:30, I realize that I have to get to bed. It's the same thing with getting up in the morning. The only way I'll get out of bed is if my clock tells me if I don't I'll be late. I have the same amount of time from when I leave work until I go to bed, but it seems like more because I have more sunlight and I actually get to enjoy a little of it.

Come March when everyone talks about how great the extra hour of sunlight in the summer is I'll remind them that I've been enjoying it the entire time. I'll also mention how I won't be losing that hour of sleep during the switchover.

The Wire

I had this wierd quirk to watching The Wire. Whenever I would decide to start a new season I would force myself to watch every season up to that one before I could begin. Then once I was finished, I would give myself 4-6 months to reflect on the awesomeness of that season before starting the process all over again. It took my two years to get through the series, and I've now seen season one 5 times.

I watched my first episode of the wire in 2008

How do you describe the wire. It's an engrossing series. Even

Some Notes:

• Favorite Character: Bode Broadus. I liked Cutty and Landsman, but Bode was the one character I really felt his achievements and defeats so viscerally good or bad. I felt worse when he died than when real people have died
• Season rankings: 4 and 3 are far at the top with 4 getting the slight edge. Then 2 followed by 5 and 1. I think 1 was hard, because it had to set up so much, and 5 was hard because so many characters were gone by the end.
• Best season closing song/montage - Steve Earle "I Feel Alright" from Season 2. Steve Earle also plays Walon, Bubbles sponsor.
• The one thing that was apparent throughout the series was the importance of leverage during a negotiation. In season 5, when Lester has the head shot on Clay Davis he uses it to get Clay to give him information. Clay has no idea that the US attourney has refused to prosecute Clay because of beef with Carcetti. But Lester still uses this against Clay Davis. The best example of this is when Pearlman goes in to Levy's office to negotiate the plea against Stanfield. Levy knows that the charges are from an illegal wiretap, and Pearlman knows has leverage against Levy for his purchasing grand jury depositions illegally. Both have leverage against the other, but a Rhonda reminds Levy, he will go to jail for longer than he will. It's like a prisoners dilemma where Rhonda is reminding levy that if he stabs her, he will get stabbed worse. Just a great climax of an episode.
• Despite how Marlo came off as brutish and hard to watch I have to feel that he was the best at playing the game. Sure Stringer was good, but he was meant for a different game than the drug trade. Avon was to territorial, Prop Joe too willing to compromise, Cheese too aggressive, White Mike too white, Slim Charles is to weak and unable to make a move. Marlo knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to do what it took to take it. This was written by someone else, but sums up my feelings of Marlo. The first time Marlo makes an impact is when his underlings are about to punish Bubbles and Johnny for leaning on their car, threatening them with a handgun. Marlo takes in the situation and says simply 'Do it or don't. I've got places to be." He instantly puts himself above trivial concerns; he shows neither anger nor compassion. He has merely sized the situation up, judged there is no threat or benefit to him therein, and leaves it as not worth his time. His decision-making is calibrated to winning "the game". Marlo's utilitarian analysis is perhaps most marked when he decides Michael's fate. He clearly has a slight fondness for Michael (he chose him after all), and agrees with Chris he's unlikely to be the snitch. "But you willing to bet your life on it?" he asks, and the decision is made. He acknowledges his inability to put human relationships first in his last exchange with Joe, who he clearly also felt some bond with: "I treated you like a son" "I wasn't made to play the son. Close your eyes...it won't hurt none".

I've watched so much of the wire that I made a few fan video's which I have posted below. The last one took me the longest and may be the one thing on the internet that I am most proud of.

The Wire has changed my life in a way no other TV show has been able to since Walker Texas Ranger. Everything that happens in my life I can relate to a moment in The Wire.

The Omaha Steaks Brochure

One fall day during our college years we were magically misdelivered a catalog for the Omaha Steaks. It languished around the couches receiving little attention for a few weeks. Then one day someone picked it up and looked at the goods that the Omaha Steak Company was selling. We were in awe. The number and diversity of steaks along with the sides and knives that they included amazed us all. We spent the next several hours debating about which packages we were planning to get and how we would divide them. We were going to eat like kings from that day forward. We made our plan and then gave them a call to place an order. But the deals in the catalog were only good for the names that they sent it to, and we were not on their “exclusive member” list. And like that our hopes of brashly made steak purchases were dashed. It were those spur of the moment purchasing decisions that led to us being delivered $170 worth of Fatheads or an entire case of 40oz Camo Silver Ice’s.

My Triumphant Return to A2

I just got back from a week long trip back to Ann Arbor. The purpose of the trip was to attend

the career fair and recruit some talented engineers, but in many ways it was more than that.

Friday:

I chose to take a vacation day and fly out early to A2 last Friday. When I got to A2 I went right to some friends house after picking up BTB and a Four Loko that my sister had given me. Four Loko is like sparks on steroids. Then I went to my old roommates house for a quick Wimmy session, because no trip to A2 is complete without a Wimmy in the basement of 1001 state street. Then I went to the house of one of the kids I lived in the dorms with. He had a little pre-funk and before I knew it my fifth of Cuervo was empty. A couple of rounds at Charleys later, I found myself back at my sisters place getting messy with a Vito from Jimmy John's.

Saturday:

I woke up and went to go tailgate. My old roommates have apparently spent the last year and a half tailgating with a homeless man. They justify it by saying that he protects them from other bums, but when one showed up our "protection" looked like this.

I met some of the guys who now live at the Box house. I was content to let it die, but if these kids are going to try to be Box they need to step it up. Their tailgate was pretty weaksauce, but I blame the cops for some of that. I did get my lunch from the guy who let me haggle the price of a burger after I got kicked out of Michigan Stadium 3 years ago. I like that guy.

I went to the game and was impressed with the expanded stadium. The one negative is that they removed the troughs from the mens bathroom. Never again will I be able to partake in the walking pee that occasionally happened.

Saturday afternoon I watched Night at the Roxbury (a terrific cinematic masterpiece) and eating Mr. Spots. Saturday night we started off at Charley's before making our way to Rick's. As we walked up I realized that I knew the doorman, who was a kid I met because he used to come over and hangout at 510 Benjamin with Jake. It felt good to still have a good connection in Ann Arbor. I met up with some lady-friends at Rick's. At one point me and these three girls were getting some shots and one of them mentioned "Bruss, you know you've hooked up with all three of us during college"? I found that amusing.

Sunday

I woke up Sunday at like 1PM. Then I went out to lunch at Noodles with my sister and her boyfriend. After that we walked everywhere looking for a gift for my dad for his birthday. I got to check out the new North Quad which is very much "the shit". It's really nice in there. We walked all around the city and eventually got my dad some birthday crap. We met up with the 'rents and our grandma at Pizza house. Afterwards I went back to my old roommates place and watched Boardwalk Empire and Swamp People. I came away equally impressed with both. Then I couple of us dudes checked out Packard Pub. Decent bar, but not the most lively. We were the only patrons, but it was 1AM on Sunday night.

Monday

Monday was the day I was supposed to fly in to town but since I was already there I really didn't have much to do. I spent the morning talking to my lawyer, Gail "The Hailstorm" Lawyerlady. I'm still in court with my landlord from 2009. I gave Al my power of attorney so things probably won't go well for me. We also talked about how the guys who lived in the house last year are being sued for $19,000. Glad that's not me.

I then rode the bus for a bit to catch up on my bus driver gossip. After that I had a date I made a few nights prior. Zola and I were going to go to CIAYCELB for lunch Monday. We rode the AATA route 36 there and back. I scarfed down 7 slices and got a Zola Salad (just meats, cheese and dressing - no lettuce). After that I spent all afternoon in the fishbowl snickering at the idiots who were still in college and had to do work.

That evening the manager who was doing the career fair with me flew in. I met up with him and we went to The Jug for dinner. We ended up playing some trivia and then going to Charleys. Nothing too epic.

Tuesday

We worked the career fair. Talking to potential candidates and explaining that we don't take interns and we do not sponsor visas. It was a lot of standing and talking, but overall wasn't bad. That night I went out to Grizzly Peak with a friend and then met up with a guy who was also in town recruiting. We drank a few rounds, but I had to get back to the hotel early (1 am) because I had interviews the next day.

Wednesday

We spent most of the day conducting interviews. I did college recruiting last year and enjoyed it. Going from the interviewee to the interviewer is really interesting. Getting to ask good questions and seeing how the people respond is great. Also, as a note to my large undergraduate readership: GPA isn't as important as you think it is. Being personable, interested and eager go farther than a few points on the 4.0 scale. I took my manager to Za's for lunch, where no other than Rashad himself was working. It's like even after I leave I still have connections.

That night we went back to Pizza House for dinner before meeting up with my friends at Charley's. We started doing rounds off the Charley's shooters list and got really, really drunk. It was just like the old times, a few of the faces were different but the result was the same.

Today I flew home after a mammoth trip, and now I counting down the 15 days until I go back to A2 for the Iowa game.

E-Mail Analysis

My cousin turned me onto this nifty widget Google Chrome has that will analyze you're Gmail inbox and give you a pretty cool graph. It is located here. I have been using Gmail as my primary email for over 6 years now. That's a large number of emails that I've sent and received. It comes out to almost 25,000 archived emails. I once read a great blog post by my good friend Brian where he ran an analysis of his Inbox. It was pretty interesting and I wanted to do something similar. I tried for like five minutes trying to figure out how to download all my email data as CSV, and then gave up and drank a Keystone Ice. I found that while the Ice was harder to come by, the black label looked really cool.

Blue are all emails, Red are sent emails

I had assumed the top chart would look something like this. It's like you can tell which months classes started and finished each year. The second chart gives some information that I always wondered about. How much of my email traffic comes through early in the week. Well if November of 2008 is any indication, Mondays and Tuesday accounted for like 50% of the email traffic in a given week. You can also see that like most people I receive emails at a much larger rate than I send them by about a 1:10 ratio. But that's pretty common.

So where did all those emails come from? Let's go to the chart.

Wow. Of the 25,000 emails I have archived about 1 in 8 are facebook (blue) related. That is a little scary. The other ones are from the U of M class web-based site Ctools (red), online risk (orange) and emails from bus drivers (green). Combined these account for like a third of all the emails I've ever received. It looks like I played a lot of online risk in July of 2008. The really cool graph is the bottom right. I've stopped getting emails from my classes which makes sense. My online risk playing must have gone downhill. I am definitely less social judging by my reduced use of Facebook to near Sophomore year levels. Finally, my job doesn't spam my personal email address so often. It looks like I much be more boring now. Maybe that is the cause of the reduced blogging.

Perhaps I'll do some more graphing of my emails to try and determine exactly when I started overusing the term "buttmuncher" in my emails.