The Roomates: The Dirty Sanchez

I lived with Dirty Sanchez my sophomore year. Living with that kid was pretty cool because with the right level of peer pressure he would pretty much do anything. There are only three pictures on facebook of both of us. This is one of them.


It's from FLASBO8 where we were partying in a condo in Naples, FL one night. This was also the same night that I got my ass kicked by a 40 year old milf in a chugging contest.

Sanchez was a pretty great roommate in the filth that we lived in at 510 Benjamin. We would come home from class on turn on Timbaland or The Fray and just rock out. It was 2006, and that what college dudes did back then. Kids today are all about their hipsters and icing and wienie whacking (<-- I promise to explain wienie whacking in a future blog post.) Back in my day all we had was Goth kids and The Fray, and we appreciated it.

The best part about Sanchez was his ability to play video games. No matter what game he played he would dominate. For awhile we were really into playing Halo. We had two TV's and Xbox's so we would have one system in Ross's room and another in the living room and play system link. No matter what the teams were Sanchez would win. We once played everyone against him and he still won. It was ridiculous.

But the game we played more than Halo was Super Smash Bros for N64. We loved that game. Some of the most epic battles in SSB history probably occurred in our sophomore year house. Once, we played a 99 life team match on Hyrule Castle. It took like 2 hours and at the end my eyes had completely dried out. There is one thing Sanchez will probably be pissed about but I'm going to write about anyways because it is too funny not to. When he would play video games he would get so into them that he would break a sweat. But not like a normal sweat. He would be completely covered in sweat. There were times when he wouldn't play video games with us because he didn't want to have to take a shower after he was finished.

One of the lasting memories of our Sophomore year house is day we decided to put a little wager on the a game of Smash Bros. The bet was him vs a team of me and Peter on a standard 8-life game. The terms were that the loser(s) would have to run around the outside of the house completely naked. We stipulated that you couldn't hold your junk either. If I recall correctly I died first leaving just Pete and Sanchez to duke it out. Sanchez was down to his last life with like 60% damage and Pete had a couple of lives. But I really didn't matter because Sanchez was unstoppable one on one. Somehow a miracle ensued and Pete killed him, meaning that he would have to run - balls flapping - around the house. It took some coercing to do but finally he agreed. It just happened that it was the day that our neighbors parents came up to move their daughter home for the summer. And yes, we declined the rematch.