Well its a football Saturday and I don't have much time to blog because its in the middle of a tailgate. Bit I need to get this out of the way so I can blog about better things tomorrow (such as the drinking game I made up today).
Yesterday a picture of BOX made the front cover of the Daily. It was pretty cool. Vickery, Warlick, and Al were easy to distinguish. They were talking about corporate sponsorship of tailgates. They failed to mention Miller Light, Monster, Voodoo Night Club (F'ing Canadia), and AXE body spray. You can see the article and picture here.
We're really cool. Please date me.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Phucking Phil
I would hate you so much more if you weren't so awesome.
I hate Phil. Well not really, but I do want to hate him. You see this all started back in the spring of 2007 (like 5 months ago). This summer Ross, Pete and I lived in an apartment in a house across from Campus Corner. There was this girl that lived in the apartment above us that was amazing. We all wanted her. We would try to hang out with her, but she was always at this kid Phil's house. We all assumed that when she was talking about Phil she was referring to her boyfriend. But then we found out that he stopped dating her. He had her and he left her. It became common knowledge about our apartment that this Phil kid was good, perhaps too good. Anyone who got her had to be good, but to stop and then continue to hang out with her, that made him special. Although we weren't sure, we suspected that Phil left her not vice versa. We started to despise this Phil. We would curse Phil when we missed shots in beer pong. It was probably Phil who took that last roll of TP. Phil took Angela Lansburys virginity. Phil was unknowingly possibly cockblocking us, and we hated him for it. And we didn't even know what he looked like.
Then one night after Ross and Pete went home for the summer, I actually got to meet Phucking Phil. I was at her apartment and he was there. With his plaid shorts and his collared shirts and his quips. OHHH ALWAYS WITH THE QUIPS! It's like he always had the perfect thing to say. I guess the conversation never runs dry when you talking with Phucking Phil. I could see why she had fallen for him. Every time I would say something to him, I would think "I'd take pleasure in guttin' you boy". All the girls there wanted him and he knew it.
Then we moved out of that apartment and we would still occasionally see the girl, but then Phil started to show up at parties, and be Phil. Everything is perfect when your named Phil. Ugg, I can't even say the word Phil anymore, it just sounds so wrong. I guess Phil got bored with unknowingly ruining my life and decided to rub it in by running for homecoming king. So when ever I would see her, she could remind me to vote for Phil. That's exactly what I want to talk to you about. Phil. Phil even conned me into voting for him at a party (he has a way with words). Jokes on him though because I didn't even vote. Phil won anyways. Yay Phil! Grrr. That wasn't rain on my cheeks during the homecoming parade. It was my soul.
Phil if your reading this, I really don't hate you, I admire you. But then again you probably don't even know who I am. But I do kind kinda hate you.
I hate Phil. Well not really, but I do want to hate him. You see this all started back in the spring of 2007 (like 5 months ago). This summer Ross, Pete and I lived in an apartment in a house across from Campus Corner. There was this girl that lived in the apartment above us that was amazing. We all wanted her. We would try to hang out with her, but she was always at this kid Phil's house. We all assumed that when she was talking about Phil she was referring to her boyfriend. But then we found out that he stopped dating her. He had her and he left her. It became common knowledge about our apartment that this Phil kid was good, perhaps too good. Anyone who got her had to be good, but to stop and then continue to hang out with her, that made him special. Although we weren't sure, we suspected that Phil left her not vice versa. We started to despise this Phil. We would curse Phil when we missed shots in beer pong. It was probably Phil who took that last roll of TP. Phil took Angela Lansburys virginity. Phil was unknowingly possibly cockblocking us, and we hated him for it. And we didn't even know what he looked like.
Then one night after Ross and Pete went home for the summer, I actually got to meet Phucking Phil. I was at her apartment and he was there. With his plaid shorts and his collared shirts and his quips. OHHH ALWAYS WITH THE QUIPS! It's like he always had the perfect thing to say. I guess the conversation never runs dry when you talking with Phucking Phil. I could see why she had fallen for him. Every time I would say something to him, I would think "I'd take pleasure in guttin' you boy". All the girls there wanted him and he knew it.
Then we moved out of that apartment and we would still occasionally see the girl, but then Phil started to show up at parties, and be Phil. Everything is perfect when your named Phil. Ugg, I can't even say the word Phil anymore, it just sounds so wrong. I guess Phil got bored with unknowingly ruining my life and decided to rub it in by running for homecoming king. So when ever I would see her, she could remind me to vote for Phil. That's exactly what I want to talk to you about. Phil. Phil even conned me into voting for him at a party (he has a way with words). Jokes on him though because I didn't even vote. Phil won anyways. Yay Phil! Grrr. That wasn't rain on my cheeks during the homecoming parade. It was my soul.
Phil if your reading this, I really don't hate you, I admire you. But then again you probably don't even know who I am. But I do kind kinda hate you.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Were big on the internet
Today Emily and Hanah were interviewed for some shitty webcast, but managed to drop a good word for the BOX house. It's very amusing, especially because Call on Me is playing in the background.
http://www.thepalestra.com/schoolsite.php?sid=1772&id=7411&rid=184
http://www.thepalestra.com/schoolsite.php?sid=1772&id=7411&rid=184
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Brian Finds A Bargain
Whilst shopping at value world to increase my novelty glassware collection on Friday night, I found a authentic Michigan jersey with the number 15 on it. I got a 150$ Ryan Mallet Jersey for 8.60$. I rule.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Brian gets Kicked out of Michigan Stadium, Haggles
Yesterday was the first time I've ever been kicked out of the Big House despite regularly being a drunken mess and passing out inside the stadium.
After a great tailgate, it was about halfway through the first quarter when Paul and I decided to go to the game. As usual I filled up my flask with 101 proof Wild Turkey (pretty strong stuff). Walking to the game, I wanted a hot dog. There are 6 hot dog vendors and I took AP econ for a semester in high school so I have a strong knowledge of supply and demand. They wanted 1.50$ for a hot dog. Well I only wanted to pay a dollar, so I pitted them against each other and eventually at the last vendor I broke their price fixing scheme. I believe I cited the Sherman Antitrust Act.
When we got to the gate, I realize that I had lost my ticket but to my luck find one lying on the ground. I guess that there is about a 5% chance this ticket will scan. I get into the stadium on a ticket I found, with a flask of whiskey and a BAC well above any reasonable level. As usual my friend Alex bribes the hydration station people to sell him a 5 gallon jug of water. This way we can stay hydrated during the game. Well, he had 5 gallons of water and I had a flask of Wild Turkey. Whiskey Water it is. The water now had a light brown tinge and smelled like whiskey. I think that about 20 people around us helped out on the whiskey water. But unaware of the impending event staff coming down the aisle I took a huge pull from the 5 gallon jug. They told me to come with them and confiscated my mixed drink. I thought I was done for sure. To them it looked like it was a 5 gallon jug of whiskey, they were unaware that it was mostly water. They kept asking me how I managed to get it into the stadium. I didn't say a word. I guess they decided that because I didn't make a scene they wouldn't MIP me. So I got to watch the second half on TV.
Thanks to Jessica Hanley for the picture. Its classic.
On the way home I was hungry again. They sell 5$ pizzas outside the stadium and I wanted one. I decide that I am only going to pay 3$. I'm drunk and my haggling skills are in full force. They tell me they won't sell me one. We'll see about that, so I ask to see their permit, they don't have one. I go tell on them to the hot dog vendors down the street. Hot dog vendors are a feisty bunch because they call the cops. Now the pizza people have 900 pizzas and can't sell them. Because of me. I guess instead of now selling me pizzas for cheap they decided that because they are about to lose thousands of dollars that they wont sell me one at all. Fine by me, there is much more haggling to be done. I head back down Hoover to the hot dog/hamburger vendors. I decided that 3$ is far too much for a hamburger. 2$ sounds better to me. First few vendors laugh at me. But the third guy is so impressed by my amazing haggling skills he gives me one for free. It was so good that I had to actually buy a second one, I think I gave the guy 7$ for the second one. But that guy was cool as shit.
And that is just 1 hour of a completely blogable football Saturday. If I wrote about the tailgate itself this post wouldn't fit on the internet.
After a great tailgate, it was about halfway through the first quarter when Paul and I decided to go to the game. As usual I filled up my flask with 101 proof Wild Turkey (pretty strong stuff). Walking to the game, I wanted a hot dog. There are 6 hot dog vendors and I took AP econ for a semester in high school so I have a strong knowledge of supply and demand. They wanted 1.50$ for a hot dog. Well I only wanted to pay a dollar, so I pitted them against each other and eventually at the last vendor I broke their price fixing scheme. I believe I cited the Sherman Antitrust Act.
When we got to the gate, I realize that I had lost my ticket but to my luck find one lying on the ground. I guess that there is about a 5% chance this ticket will scan. I get into the stadium on a ticket I found, with a flask of whiskey and a BAC well above any reasonable level. As usual my friend Alex bribes the hydration station people to sell him a 5 gallon jug of water. This way we can stay hydrated during the game. Well, he had 5 gallons of water and I had a flask of Wild Turkey. Whiskey Water it is. The water now had a light brown tinge and smelled like whiskey. I think that about 20 people around us helped out on the whiskey water. But unaware of the impending event staff coming down the aisle I took a huge pull from the 5 gallon jug. They told me to come with them and confiscated my mixed drink. I thought I was done for sure. To them it looked like it was a 5 gallon jug of whiskey, they were unaware that it was mostly water. They kept asking me how I managed to get it into the stadium. I didn't say a word. I guess they decided that because I didn't make a scene they wouldn't MIP me. So I got to watch the second half on TV.
Thanks to Jessica Hanley for the picture. Its classic.On the way home I was hungry again. They sell 5$ pizzas outside the stadium and I wanted one. I decide that I am only going to pay 3$. I'm drunk and my haggling skills are in full force. They tell me they won't sell me one. We'll see about that, so I ask to see their permit, they don't have one. I go tell on them to the hot dog vendors down the street. Hot dog vendors are a feisty bunch because they call the cops. Now the pizza people have 900 pizzas and can't sell them. Because of me. I guess instead of now selling me pizzas for cheap they decided that because they are about to lose thousands of dollars that they wont sell me one at all. Fine by me, there is much more haggling to be done. I head back down Hoover to the hot dog/hamburger vendors. I decided that 3$ is far too much for a hamburger. 2$ sounds better to me. First few vendors laugh at me. But the third guy is so impressed by my amazing haggling skills he gives me one for free. It was so good that I had to actually buy a second one, I think I gave the guy 7$ for the second one. But that guy was cool as shit.
And that is just 1 hour of a completely blogable football Saturday. If I wrote about the tailgate itself this post wouldn't fit on the internet.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Nightmares
Last night I had some scary dreams, like in one I was in a fight. In another I was living with all of my roommates in Couzins and there was a lion fighting an aardvark fighting a zebra in the courtyard, and every time I looked out my window there was another animal like a horse and dog. Eventually there was a human baby involved and I had to go down and save it. That was scary. But the dream that caused me to wake up in a cold sweat was that for some reason people weren't allowed to comment on my blog. It was awful. So analyze my dream and comment about it, if you can.
Also, I can feel my dream of being the subject of a craigslist missed connecting is getting closer to reality. There was a rant and rave about a bus driver. That could have been me, but it wasn't. Someday there will be a "superhot superfunny bus driver, I want to sit on your face" post. Until then I'll keep checking. And don't post that, because I'll know it was you.
Also, I can feel my dream of being the subject of a craigslist missed connecting is getting closer to reality. There was a rant and rave about a bus driver. That could have been me, but it wasn't. Someday there will be a "superhot superfunny bus driver, I want to sit on your face" post. Until then I'll keep checking. And don't post that, because I'll know it was you.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
That Guy
I accidentally thought my History 241 lecture started at 2:00 instead of 2:30 so I went into the classroom and was surprised that it had started early, I sat down before I realized it was the last part of the art history class that gets out at 2:30.
Though, to everyone else in the lecture hall I looked like that guy who comes to the last 20 minutes of a lecture and immediately puts his headphones on and falls asleep. Finally a girl woke me up and told me "Class is over, you can now go home and sleep."
Though, to everyone else in the lecture hall I looked like that guy who comes to the last 20 minutes of a lecture and immediately puts his headphones on and falls asleep. Finally a girl woke me up and told me "Class is over, you can now go home and sleep."
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