I'm sitting at O'hare waiting for my flight home from my buddys wedding. To keep from being excessivly bored I figure I'll pound out a blog post. I'm typing this on my broke ass iPhone so... yeah.
The reception had an open bar and they were serving shots. Some open bars don't serve shot to keep people from getting excessively drunk. I got excessively drunk. But it was a celebration, bitches! After the reception ended a few of us went to the bar for a post party. After a couple more shots I realized that I was too inebreated to be at the bar and I decide to walk back to my hotel. The hotel is in the biggest building in South Bend so I kinda knew where I was going.
I don't really know how or under what circumstances I met him but somehow I started talking with a homeless man. We are walking along just having a terrific chat. About life, love and being an out of work welder. As we walk I see a Burger King a few blocks away. I really want some BK but it's like 2 am and only the drive thru is open. Willie says that he can get us some Whoppers. So Willie and I walk up to the drive thru window. Me a 23 white guy in a shirt and tie, Willie a 40 year old black man with a scruffy beard and a raincoat. The manager goes "Willie! What are you doing here?" but she agrees to sell us some food. I tell Willie to order whatever he wants and I would pay for it. We both order a couple whoppers and I pay with a twenty and give the change to Willie. So we continue our walk and our conversation. When we get close to the hotel we had to say our goodbyes and part ways. I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure I gave Willie a big hug.
Showing posts with label Homeless People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homeless People. Show all posts
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Brian saves a frat, takes a homeless man off the street and makes $11
Impressive huh?
A few weeks ago I was walking up to Gayle "The Hailstorm" Lawyerlady's office to discuss how dumb Wilson White is. I was walking by Shady Phi (the frat with the volleyball court in their yard) and I noticed that their grill was on fire. There was a dude on their porch who was wearing a backpack who I assumed was doing something about the fire. What he was doing was throwing things onto the fire that normally don't put fires out. Like big plastic trash cans. A few of the people on the sidewalk started looking at each other and wondering why this guy was fueling a fire right next to the house. I told everyone "I got this" and whipped out the old cellular and called the police. While I was talking to the police the guy started drinking all of the leftover beer on the porch and then walked away, this lead me to believe he was a bum. I waited for a couple of minutes for the frat bros to come out or the fire department to show up but since neither seemed to happen I just walked over and put the fire out myself by pulling off the burning parts and throwing them in the lawn. Don't worry I didn't use my firehose. Eventually the fire department showed up and the frat dudes came out and I got to be the hero. I didn't really care about the frat that much seeing as they already had their pipes burst over winter break. But I did find out later that if the house had burned down they could have rebuilt it into a much nicer house, so take that greek system!
Later that day the cops called me and told me that they had captured the guy. I think it was because of my awesome description of a scruffy guy in khakis and wearing a backpack. Later they asked me to be the lead witness in a felony arson case against the guy. If there is one thing I love more than blogging it is putting this nations homeless behind bars. I gladly said I would be there and told my boss that I had been subpoenaed which I think they had to believe because who would make that up?
Today I showed up in court ready to nail this homeless bastard. But before I got my chance to tell of that fateful day the judge decided that the bum should get a psychiatric evaluation because he might not be fit to stand trial. All this means is that there will be another hearing. But the good news is that you get paid to be a witness, even if the case doesn't end up going to trial. So I made $11. Plus I have the future opportunity to make another $11. Which doesn't really compare to the opportunity cost of going to work all afternoon today.
So when the future date arrives I will be sure to let you know how long I'm putting him away for. I hope they don't give him the chair, I wouldn't want that weighing on my mind.
A few weeks ago I was walking up to Gayle "The Hailstorm" Lawyerlady's office to discuss how dumb Wilson White is. I was walking by Shady Phi (the frat with the volleyball court in their yard) and I noticed that their grill was on fire. There was a dude on their porch who was wearing a backpack who I assumed was doing something about the fire. What he was doing was throwing things onto the fire that normally don't put fires out. Like big plastic trash cans. A few of the people on the sidewalk started looking at each other and wondering why this guy was fueling a fire right next to the house. I told everyone "I got this" and whipped out the old cellular and called the police. While I was talking to the police the guy started drinking all of the leftover beer on the porch and then walked away, this lead me to believe he was a bum. I waited for a couple of minutes for the frat bros to come out or the fire department to show up but since neither seemed to happen I just walked over and put the fire out myself by pulling off the burning parts and throwing them in the lawn. Don't worry I didn't use my firehose. Eventually the fire department showed up and the frat dudes came out and I got to be the hero. I didn't really care about the frat that much seeing as they already had their pipes burst over winter break. But I did find out later that if the house had burned down they could have rebuilt it into a much nicer house, so take that greek system!
Later that day the cops called me and told me that they had captured the guy. I think it was because of my awesome description of a scruffy guy in khakis and wearing a backpack. Later they asked me to be the lead witness in a felony arson case against the guy. If there is one thing I love more than blogging it is putting this nations homeless behind bars. I gladly said I would be there and told my boss that I had been subpoenaed which I think they had to believe because who would make that up?
Today I showed up in court ready to nail this homeless bastard. But before I got my chance to tell of that fateful day the judge decided that the bum should get a psychiatric evaluation because he might not be fit to stand trial. All this means is that there will be another hearing. But the good news is that you get paid to be a witness, even if the case doesn't end up going to trial. So I made $11. Plus I have the future opportunity to make another $11. Which doesn't really compare to the opportunity cost of going to work all afternoon today.
So when the future date arrives I will be sure to let you know how long I'm putting him away for. I hope they don't give him the chair, I wouldn't want that weighing on my mind.
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