Top 5 College Football Teams I Love to Watch Lose

Nothing beats the joy of your team winning, but a close second is the joy of watching a team you hate lose to another opponent. The Germans call it schadenfreude. But I've recently realized that I enjoy watching certain teams lose for uniquely different reasons. I've come to the conclusion that my joy of watching other teams lose is unique and complex and should be shared with the world. So here are my current top-5 teams that I enjoy watch losing.

1) Ohio State

I hate everything about Ohio State and love it when they lose. This one is 75% blind hatred, but there is also a 25% joy of watching them lose is that in it might directly help Michigan. An Ohio State loss might improve Michigan's chances of winning a three-way tie in the B1G East. This is the most practical reason on the entire list. In past years I would have said that I also enjoyed watching them lose because I hated Jim Tressel and Urban Myer and the hypocrisy they represented. But I don't really hate Ryan Day he seems a bit annoying but overall a fine dude, but they are still a clear #1.

2) Michigan State

For as long as I can remember watching MSU lose was great because of their fan meltdowns. They have the shittiest fans with the biggest inferiority complex of any power 5 program. But a new reason to love watching them lose has emerged. They went out and gave their coach a $95 Million Dollar fully guaranteed contract - for a guy who had a 16-14 career coaching record. MSU took a guy with a mediocre record and made him one of the highest paid coaches in the country. I want him to fail. Not because I have anything against Mel Tucker, good for him for taking advantage of MSU being super dumb. I just want to prove how dumb it is to take a guy with such a flimsy record and give him $95 million dollars.

You'll note that I don't include the same rationale of wanting them to lose to because it might help Michigan. I guess I just don't ever think of them in that way.

3) Alabama

I loved watching Bama go down to Tennessee today. But it's solely because they've been so good for so long. It's like rooting against the Yankees. When you've made 7 of 8 CFPs, you're easy to root against. I think for a long time I also disliked Nick Saban, but over the years I think I've grown to respect his dominance. 

4) Nebraska

This one is why I'm writing this post. For years I've taken great joy in watching Nebraska lose, and it was all because I hated Scott Frost. Michigan fans hate Scott Frost for pretty good reasons. We also don't care much for his mom. I think there was also this comparison between Scott Frost and Jim Harbaugh* especially during and after the 2020 season that both prodigal son's return weren't going to plan and both were on the Hotseat. But at the end of the 2020 season Jim Harbaugh was 49-22 at Michigan with 3 10-win seasons. Scott Frost was 12-20 at Nebraska and 5-7 in his best year. But Harbaugh was the one on the hotseat, although in fairness he had been around for longer, and still hadn't achieved many of the goals set out for him. 

Then Harbaugh made the CFP and now Scott Frost is unemployed. But here's the thing, once they fired Scott Frost all the sudden I couldn't continue to enjoy watching them lose. Scott frost getting fired brought me such joy but also sadness I could no longer enjoy watching his team lose. I now hope they return to glory to rub it in Scott Frost's face.

* This is the same issue I have with James Franklin who still gets compared to Jim Harbaugh despite their very different records.

5) Rutgers

I love watching Rutgers lose, but it doesn't really have much to do with Rutgers itself. I mean, when Chris Ash was coach I loved watching them lose because he was stupid and annoying, but that went away when they fired his ass after Michigan beat him 52-0. Instead I hope Rutgers loses every game because they should have never been allowed to join the Big Ten and they don't deserve to be part of our conference. They must perennially suck (not just in Football, but in all sports) just to show the Big Ten conference that they bring nothing of value and are pure trash - just like the state of New Jersey. Okay, maybe it does have something to do with Rutgers.

In summary:

OSU -         75% blind hatred

                   25% could help Michigan

MSU -         50% stupid fans

                   50% your massive overpayment of a mediocre coach must be punished

Bama -       100% too good for too long

Nebraska -  100% I hated Scott Frost, but now I want them to win as a Fuck You to Scott Frost.

Rutgers -     100% To show the Big Ten that they should get kicked out of the conference. 

Honorable Mention:

I hate most teams from Florida. They can all lose every game for all I care.