10 Things I intend to teach my kids before they go to college

I believe that there is a set of skill every person should know regardless of if they ever use them or not. I intend to teach them to my offspring regardless of gender or willingness to learn. I just don't want my kids to enter a world and feel foolish for not learning something that everyone should know. I made a small list of things I intend to teach my bastard children by the time they're 18, and I added when I first learned to do them.

1. How to drive a stick.
   I didn't really learn how to drive a stick until I bought my Camaro after college. Sure, like everyone I "could drive one if I had too". But the instant anyone says that to me I immediately think "You have no idea, do you?". That was the type of thing my dad would have loved to teach me, but the opportunity never arose. Well, he eventually did teach me, just not until I was 22.
   
2. How to to grill a steak/use a charcoal grill.
   It seems pretty easy. Light charcoal on fire, add meat. Wait. That's all I thought from watching my dad grill out at our house. We had propane, so it seemed reasonably enough that grilling a steak wasn't a skill. In fact it is a fine art (charcoal chimney anyone?) that can be done many different ways correctly, and many ways incorrectly.
3. An appreciation of classic rock
   I don't really care what music is popular when I finally get around to procreating. I'm going to demand that my child knows a Led Zeppelin song from a Lynyrd Skynyrd tune. I'll work in some more modern stuff, but I just can't imagine my child going off to college and not being able to identify a Bruce Springsteen song. I don't care that the music will be like 60 years old. They will learn it.
4. How to fire a gun
   This may be the one that is used the least, has the worst impact and is probably unnecessary but I like it. I'm sure we all would like to live in a world where there are no guns and bad things don't happen. My children will be realists. It's one of those skills I would rather they would have and not need, than need and not have. They don't need to be great marksman. I just want them to be familiar and able to pick up a gun and shoot a zombie if needed. Beyond BB guns, I didn't learn how to shoot a until my sophomore year of college. Once, at Scout Camp I saw my dad rock some clay pigeons with a 12-gauge, but I don't fault him for never teaching me.
5. How to mix a drink
   I can't imagine this lesson getting too in depth, but who knows maybe they will have dropped the drinking age back to 18 by then. Just a lesson on what mixes well with what, and how to drink a Guinness.
6. How to start a fire in the woods and tie a decent knot
   I learned this somewhat in Boy Scouts, but didn't master the skill until senior year of High School. I took a wilderness survival class that ended with all of us going camping in Canada. It is something that I still use when I go camping, and nice to know if I ever get lost outdoors.
   
7. Good movies
   I don't plan forcing my kids to watch The Godfather or Back to the Future, but there are some movies everyone needs to have a working knowledge of. I can't imagine walking around not quite knowing who Yoda is. I'm not sure exactly what I would show them, but around the time I was 16 I really went through the family movie collection. At least Blazing Saddles, Dumb and Dumber, Old School, Shawshank, Pulp Fiction and most of the IMDB top 100.
8. How to use power tools
   As a kid I used to help my dad out on all sorts of projects. Usually he would give me a shot on the drill or table saw. I couldn't believe when I went to school that some kids couldn't drill a pilot hole, or even hang a picture with a hammer and nail. I would have felt downright foolish not knowing those things. Thanks pops!
   
9. How to hook up a entertainment system
   When I moved into one of my college houses, there were only two of us who knew how to hook up all the cables and internet properly. That shit was even color-coded. I'm making sure my kid know how to hook up system, and the differences between formats which will probably be 2160P vs 1440I. Or whatever future shit they have by then.
10. How to tap a keg
    I had the benefit of my dad insisting that we get a keg for my high school graduation party. About 40 minutes before it started he took me aside and taught me how to tap a keg. It was one of the best things I've ever learned. It came in handy a couple of times freshman year but was really useful sophomore year. Once people moved out of the dorms and into houses they would throw parties, but generally no one would know how to tap the keg. I think that year I tapped between 20-30 and probably more than 100 in my collegiate career. It's so simple, but if you do it wrong you get beer sprayed in you're face. The experience also let me master other crazy taps like a latch design and minor tap repair.

I don't like thinking too much about having kids, but occasionally I'll think to myself "Gee whiz, I'm really glad I know how to do that" or "Damn, I wish someone would have taught me that". So I will ensure that my kids know how to do all the important things, like light their farts on fire.