To Being an Undergrad

14 credits. 7 actual credits. My life revolves around having fun. I got really sick after my adventure to Kalamazoo, so this is what my life is like.

Tuesday:
Skip out of class about half an hour early to make it down to Bar Louie for my traditional Tuesday festivities. Post pints and burgers we made the pilgrimage down to Super Liquor IV with no clear intentions in mind. Unlike last time when we made a house trip, with 7 people in 3 cars all descending on SLIV. I did pick up a fifth of Wild Turkey - American Honey which I discovered through my couz Shawn.

Wednesday:
I don't think I did much, maybe because it is surrounded by drunkenness.

Thursday:
Got the important text from Gusto that there were $0.50 shots and $1 beers at the Cantina starting at 5 PM. It's Cinqo de Montho, and every 5th of the month they do a progressive pricing scheme that goes up by $0.50 every hour, until they reach $2.50. Next month it will be on the 5th of March which just so happens to by my birthday, so we will see how that goes. So I meet up with gusto and one of his buddies. We rip shots for an hour and then I head down to the basketball game.

At the game I almost got kicked out. I stand directly behind the opposing bench and spend most of my time telling the other coach to "SHUT UP!". I was being a rowdy drunk. But eventually the game ended with a big win. Afterwards I went home and dropped some High Life. But my night was just beginning. I called one of my high school friends who now knows the benefits of the Dvorak keyboard (Very obscure WTF reference, (as was the WTF reference) I will tribute you 1,000 gold for figuring it out). Anyways I went over to her place for some pre-gaming. Drank a bud heavy and a margarita and then we went to Rick's. Going to Rick's with 5 girls on Ladies night it the coolest thing that will ever be done. I danced and danced and danced and danced. The ladies and their comptroller (me) then went to the Cantina for some obscure reason. Probably because the females were hungry from all that bumping and Brian grinding. So I ordered some shots. Never start you're night ripping tequila shots and then end your night blamming (new word) more tequila shots. You will end up making bad decisions, like taking a cab home with a girl but then going home anyways. Then you will go home and decide that you want to not only listen to Janis Joplin's stupendous cover of Me and Bobby McGee, but also want to blog about it. You will then end up leaving it on and passing out, and then wake up 10 hours later with the song still playing on repeat and not knowing why until you read you're own blog. Believe me, it's actually not a horrible thing to have happen. Maybe tequila shots get a bad rap. Because Mexicans are terrible rappers.

Friday:
After adventures in Thursday, I actually had a very important group meeting for my senior design that I was still quite sauced for. Before my afternoon meeting I stopped home only to find my roommates throwing a mid-day birthday party for our roommate who was turning 21. And to clarify, birthday party means 4 dudes buying a quarter barrel and sitting on our couch watching outdoor anal porn and discussing the finer aspects of it with the roommate whose birthday it was being no where in sight. Very deep conversation. So I dropped a couple of Gargoyles and went to my afternoon business. I got home around 4 to find that the party had moved outside to a little game of outdoor beer pong in 18 degree (that's Fahrenheit for my mass German following) weather. While playing outdoor beer pong in 18 degree weather and only wearing a short sleeved Hawaiian shirt, my childhood boy scout leader walked by, and I got a chance shake his much warmer hand.

So me and my roommate Brick went to the hockey game. We actually had some free tickets. But when we go to a game we bring our friends. For this game our friends were a pint of Ezra Brooks, an orange juice full of vodka, and 3 cans of the Champagne of Beers. Our friends who I sit usually bring their friends Evan Williams and Jack. You would recognize them in an instant. Even 5 gallons of whisky water cannot beat having a cold beer while watching a game at Yost. Fun game too, but that's for another post.

So afterwards our friends were having a party. It was Luau, but for some reason had Peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup. I didn't complain, but did teach some noobs how to tap and poor a keg with a faulty tap. It resulted in a whopping four (4) IV facebook friend requests for me. So yeah, I'm pretty much a player, even if some of those were dudes.

Saturday:
The day started as a backlog of my 2 day hangover. The day progressed to me drinking and watching the basketball game at our neighbors house. Then my roommate Peter and I decided to take the 50 foot trip to Cliff Keen arena for the men's gymnastic meet to do whatever you do at a gymnastic meet. Gymnastics are kinda boring when there aren't hot gymnastic girls to oogle. So Peter and I went all the way back home (across the street) and pounded some beers and then went to the hockey game. Didn't pay, fun game. Same shit, different night. Afterwards our Peter and I went home for a beer break and then to our friend Juanita's house for her birthday and then over to the bars.

We started at the Jug where it was one of those "I know everyone in this bar" feelings. Our gorgeous neighbors where there. Our luau friends were there. Our tailgating friends were there. My other friends were there (you know them right?). Peter and I decided to do a pitcher race. Some other friends showed up and soon it seemed like everyone was heading to Rick's (Not again!). But Rick's, being Rick's, is actually a lot of fun when go with 20 people and get to dance with your hotty neighbors.

But no one wants to read a blog post about a dude going to Rick's, and in my sub-conscious I knew this and decided to take action. I grabbed the ultimate drinking partner in a friend named John. The same friend who started off the best night of my life, last 4th of July (Blog post is classified). We head up to the Cantina, to you know, talk to chicks. The only problem is that we get there at 1:48. That leaves us 12 minutes of legal drinking time. So I open a tab, for the next 12 minutes. We grab same tequila shots because I didn't learn my lesson from Thursday. But our only problem is we got the 2 AM cutoff but we didn't want to stop drinking so we managed to get some extra drinks. I can't go into much detail, but that's why I go drinking with my friend John. Our friend Craig shows up and takes a seat next to us at the bar. He then passes out at his bar stool, but I don't want to take care of him so I delegate the task to a super hawt girl who tries to keep him awake and gets him a water. Of course Craig snaps out of it right after the girl walks away. Dammit Craig! So now we spend our time talking to the ladies. Eventually my extra drinks kick in and I decide it's time for me to leave. But I don't just walk home. I wander over to the daig and in front of the block M, I started to Salute every building and gave a speech about the U in the middle of the daig to no one. Then I went over to the Law Quad and did the same thing. It was pretty cool to me. I made it home to find that our house had been destroyed by Brick and I passed out. When I awoke I realized that no matter how much I drink I am still a smart guy because before I passed out I wrote down the vitals of one of the girls who's number I got at the bar. It reads:

red vest
named Clair

Hot!

So we will have to see where that leads. I don't know how I manage to live my life, but I love it. I wrote this so that someday when my life sucks, I can look back and see how awesome I must be. Also I wrote this because I need you to know how awesome I am. Also, I'm still drunk.