I'd do Anything for Salina

Two weekends ago I was at a party and met a girl named Salina. She seemed interesting enough and I offered to walk her home. She had written her name on my hand, but didn't include a number. When we got to her place I assessed the situation and gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her goodnight. I always leave them wanting more. When I got home I immediately facebooked. But while facebooking I realized that between the time I had left her front door and the time I had gotten home she had entered a FB relationship. I simply chalked it up to such a magical kiss on the cheek. What girl wouldn't be ready to go steady after one of my kisses for the Mrs. (Worst. Sentence. Ever.) Four days later she accepted and wall posted.

yeeeay for cheese!

On Memorial day instead of looking for an apartment in Chicago (where I was about to move in 2 days) I instead spent the day doing nothing. First I put up the American Flag outside the house. Then, I helped Ross write the Wikipedia Article for Julie "The Cat" Gaffney. It was immediately taken down and his user name "Poopstainpapadopoulos" was revoked. An excerpt from memory:

Julie "The Cat" Gaffney was born to mortal parents in the year of our Lord MCMLXXIX. After dominating the Bangor Maine junior division hockey program she joined Gordan Bombay's rag-tag district 5 mighty ducks...

After that we went over to Coop's house for a bbq on his roof. I drank my lunch and dinner and 6 hours later I was drunk. That's when Hannah, who works with Salina as an athletic trainer asked me about her. The girls said if a guy walked them home and only gave them a kiss they would be pissed. Sounds like they're a bunch of whores to me. The guys thought it was the smart play. Hannah then asked if I wanted her number. I thought this was a great idea. With everyone watching I left her a voicemail where I invited her to the Ann Arbor Hands On Museum followed by dinner at Grizzley Peak. I recall the message going well and my prose excellent, my contemporaries disagree. There was some group discussion whether the Ann Arbor Hands On Museum really existed or whether it was a thinly veiled innuendo for second base. Either way I figured she would be in.

Today she called me and I had to break her heart and tell her that I was leaving for Chicago and she had to break mine that she was already seeing someone. Ohh the love that could have grown. It appears I don't have a knack for picking the right girls. BTW, she was a gymnast. Dammit.