I hate that Rachel Ray

I really fucking hate Rachel Ray. I mean seriously. She is the bane of my existence. Every time I turn on the TV she is there. With her chic wardrobe and toothy smile that screams "Look at me! I'm hot shit! Sure I'm curvy on the outside, but I can still look good. And so can you!" She has a magazine called Every Day with Rachael Ray that comes out less then once a month. And she has a talk show. This is what she said about it "People know me for my love of food, but I have so much more I want to share." I know you love food you whore, but no one cares about what you think. You are a drain on the intellect of the United States.

This is what writer Jill Hunter Pellettieri said as some of her criticisms:
"Ray's ditzy demeanor also makes her easy to dismiss. She giggles off-cue and constantly praises her own cooking. "Smells awesome already!" she says, making her Snapper in a Snap. "I am so psyched about that." She employs cute abbreviations—EVOO means "extra virgin olive oil", and gives her dishes nicknames, such as "You-Won't-Be-Single-for-Long Vodka Cream Pasta". The acknowledgments in her $40 a Day cookbook read like a high-school yearbook: "Don …You are the tallest man we've ever had on crew, and yet you pack the smallest bag—ever! Cool." And, it didn't boost her credibility when she posed for pinup shots in FHM. (One featured Ray licking chocolate off a spoon.) " I'm just glad that there are others out there who feel the same way. At least 1800 people are part of the Rachael Ray Sucks live journal community.

Now she is the Dunkin' Donuts spokesperson. Yeah, I bet she is really taking advantage of all those free donuts (although she splits one with her mom). Watch this "Delish". You can see why I promised myself that I would punch her in the face if I ever saw her.


I went to Borders this afternoon to buy some shit and there were like 100 people waiting in line inside the store. I asked a lady what the line was for. She told me that Rachel Ray was coming! Awesome. Here I am minding my own business and Rachel Ray is coming. I don't go to Rachel Ray's hometown and bother her. I am so mad at Rachel Ray that I want to throw a midget through a plate glass window. I buy my things and leave, and as I am walking into the parking lot I see RR. She is walking towards the store with some guy. Probably her publicist, or manager or asshat. This is my chance. I realize that I probably shouldn't punch her in the face so I grab some snow and yell "Hey Rachel!" She looks over at me. I then yell "YOU SUCK" and throw a snowball at her and run.

I can't say for sure if she got the message, but the snowball to the torso hopefully will let her know how I feel about her 30 minute meals. I feel ashamed that I didn't have the courage to beat her with the 7th Harry Potter book, but at least I made a stand. Now if only I could run into Michael Phelps, Jim Belushi (who, by the way, is referred to as the Funniest Living Belushi) or Carlos Mencia.