The Perfect Day in the Life

This morning I woke up with a loaded Airsoft pistol in my hand. I guess last night I got scared that a hobo was going to break into my room. That the kind of not-sober that I was last night. I had gotten off work at 6 and went straight to B-Dubs. It was LTC Hiltons retirement and he had dropped $2000 on a bar tab. I did my best to drink my share of 2000 dollars worth of liquor but I had to go to a party with a few of my friends and one of their dads. I must say bringing a dad to a party is awesome. Multiple games of flip cup later I retired to my room only to wake up at 10:30 to a beautiful day.

I spent the first few hours of the day reading blogs and eating my Cocoa Pebbles on the porch. I read a bit and then went to Quickie Burger for some American eats. We had decided to go to the Tigers game and we left around noon. On the way I bought a fifth of Burnetts. We got to the D and bought tickets from a dude who sold us $180 worth of tickets for $100 bucks. It was a great game, and I sat next to 2 girls who I think were in ninth grade. After each home run I would high five them and tell them they were supposed to be in English class. After the win we left the D, and drove back to Ann Arbor only to hang out on the porch all afternoon. I had finished my own personal fifth by sundown and had switched over to beer.

I must comment that I was really proud about my personal fifth accomplishment. Even though it took 8 hours of drinking to do it, I feel it was a college achievement. I'm not really a liquor drinker, but you can't fill a flask with beer, so today it was all vodka. The fifth before sundown really made me realize how far I have come along in the past 4 years. Back when I was a senior in high school, I didn't drink a lot and a fifth could last a couple of us all night. Even freshmen year I would pregame with a few shots but it would take a few weeks to finish an entire fifth. I guess I have finally reached the big leagues.

Tonight I watched the Red Wings win, and then went over to my high school friend, Neela's apartment. We drank for a bit, and then went to a party on Sybil. Although I didn't know anyone there at first I saw some of my friends and I really came to the conclusion that I am the most myself at a party when I am in the line for the bathroom. It is my one chance to be myself usually with with mostly dudes. There is no pressure in the line to pee. Unless you really have to go, of course. I talked to a some girls and eventually the cops came to "break up the party". I wanted to try out my new found 21 freedom so I went over to them with my beer in hand. They were actually pretty cool and said that they only came because they had gotten several complaints and the first few they had ignored. So I walked Neela back home and then went to my porch to enjoy one last beer to put the night in perspective. I had been thinking about this blog post for almost all of today, and I was sitting on my porch convincing myself that not bringing home a girl was the best way to end the perfect day. I then saw a girl walking down state street with a guy while on the phone with her obvious boyfriend.

"Hey are you leading this guy on while your talking to your BF" I said
"No he knows I have a boyfriend"she said
"Thats fucked up, don't be a home wreaker" I said to the dude
At that point she looked at me and said,
"I know you, your name is Brian, your an Asshole!"
"How the hell do you know who I am, and why am I an asshole?"
My roommate Al then ran across the street and yelled "Is he an asshole because he gave you crabs?"

We both got a laugh out of that because I most definitely did not give her crabs, but she was very offended. We then went to 607 E. Hoover (The Animal Planet) to a lame party and the went back to box for a little olde time reunion with some of the old tymer Box guys. 2 hours and 1 dance party later I am my computer writing about a day that could have not been any better had it been planned. Although it would have been nice to bring home a girl.