Brian Plays an April Fools Joke

If you are easily grossed out, then don't read this. If you hold me in any sort of esteem, then don't read this. If you are a future employer, then don't read this. If you are a future employer and do read this, pray that you never have to fire me.

I decided to play an April Fools joke on my roommate Brett. Brett is an easygoing guy, short, brown eyes, a face for radio and a body only a cheap hooker could love. This description of Brett really has no importance in the story.

The idea was that I would buy a box of chocolates and tape a note on it from the girl he hooked up with over the weekend. He would open the note and be freaked out that she left candies outside of his door. Not so great huh? So here's the twist, instead of just chocolates inside of the box, I took out the candies, and took giant dump in the box. I spent the weekend in Battle Creek and hadn't shat since last Thursday. I saved up a big log, and I'll be damned if it didn't look like one big long tootsie roll. Then I went on the internet, and found the perfect note to attach. Here I'll show you.



Unfortunately I wasn't able see his reaction. But when I woke up this morning there was the box of chocolates outside my door with my own festering feces in it and a text message that read "You sicken me. Yet your dedication is admirable." So what did I do? Put the lid back on, attached a note that says "Up For Grabs" and put it on the kitchen counter downstairs.