Today marks the one year anniversary of me starting my professional career. One down 33 to go. It's been an interesting past year. I went from being a poor college student to a young professional. I've made twice the amount of money this year than I have in all the jobs I've ever held combined. It has allowed me to buy a bunch of stuff that I could never have living in slums of college housing. It still surprises me how much money I make and subsequently spend now.
Working has it's other benefits than the paychecks as well. I get to travel and sometimes go places I would pay to go anyways. Next weekend I'm going to DC and getting to visit some friends. Plus, every year so far I've gotten to take a free trip back to Ann Arbor to recruit. I find recruiting trips to be mucho fun-o.
One of the hardest things about beginning the life of work is that you have to go every day. In college I might have had to wake up early a couple of times a week. If I really didn't feel like getting up I didn't have to and there were absolutely no consequences. When I worked during the summers driving buses I usually only had to get up early one or two days a week which I could always muster up for. I got a taste of it when I had my internships, but this is really it. A change in the past year is that I now drink excessive amounts of coffee.
After the 20 roommates I had in college, I finally got my own place. Having complete control of my living space was awesome. Paying bills and rent by myself really wasn't. After a year of that I moved into a townhouse and I finally now have a decent roommate, a house with real furniture, hardwood floors and two big TV's. I've lived in the suburbs, a medium sized city and a huge city. I now live in really small town, which I really like. I've always been attracted to the charm of small towns with lots going on and living where I could walk downtown. It's nice, because there is the small town feel with the big city just a ferry ride away, I see it as the best of both worlds. Also, for the first time I live in a place with views of mountains and water.
I've gotten used to life in the Pacific Northwest. The people, the rain and the time difference. If you think about the country the Pacific Northwest is really isolated from the rest of the country. It makes for long flights but a cool uniqueness about it.
All in all, I think this whole 'working' thing has really worked out well. It seems better than most of the alternatives. I think I'll keep doing it. That is until I find some other way to get really rich. I don't think I'd be one of those people who become billionaires and still show up for work every day. But no complaints here.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
10 Things I intend to teach my kids before they go to college
I believe that there is a set of skill every person should know regardless of if they ever use them or not. I intend to teach them to my offspring regardless of gender or willingness to learn. I just don't want my kids to enter a world and feel foolish for not learning something that everyone should know. I made a small list of things I intend to teach my bastard children by the time they're 18, and I added when I first learned to do them.
I don't like thinking too much about having kids, but occasionally I'll think to myself "Gee whiz, I'm really glad I know how to do that" or "Damn, I wish someone would have taught me that". So I will ensure that my kids know how to do all the important things, like light their farts on fire.
- How to drive a stick.
I didn't really learn how to drive a stick until I bought my Camaro after college. Sure, like everyone I "could drive one if I had too". But the instant anyone says that to me I immediately think "You have no idea, do you?". That was the type of thing my dad would have loved to teach me, but the opportunity never arose. Well, he eventually did teach me, just not until I was 22. - How to to grill a steak/use a charcoal grill.
It seems pretty easy. Light charcoal on fire, add meat. Wait. That's all I thought from watching my dad grill out at our house. We had propane, so it seemed reasonably enough that grilling a steak wasn't a skill. In fact it is a fine art (charcoal chimney anyone?) that can be done many different ways correctly, and many ways incorrectly. - An appreciation of classic rock
I don't really care what music is popular when I finally get around to procreating. I'm going to demand that my child knows a Led Zeppelin song from a Lynyrd Skynyrd tune. I'll work in some more modern stuff, but I just can't imagine my child going off to college and not being able to identify a Bruce Springsteen song. I don't care that the music will be like 60 years old. They will learn it. - How to fire a gun
This may be the one that is used the least, has the worst impact and is probably unnecessary but I like it. I'm sure we all would like to live in a world where there are no guns and bad things don't happen. My children will be realists. It's one of those skills I would rather they would have and not need, than need and not have. They don't need to be great marksman. I just want them to be familiar and able to pick up a gun and shoot a zombie if needed. Beyond BB guns, I didn't learn how to shoot a until my sophomore year of college. Once, at Scout Camp I saw my dad rock some clay pigeons with a 12-gauge, but I don't fault him for never teaching me. - How to mix a drink
I can't imagine this lesson getting too in depth, but who knows maybe they will have dropped the drinking age back to 18 by then. Just a lesson on what mixes well with what, and how to drink a Guinness. - How to start a fire in the woods and tie a decent knot
I learned this somewhat in Boy Scouts, but didn't master the skill until senior year of High School. I took a wilderness survival class that ended with all of us going camping in Canada. It is something that I still use when I go camping, and nice to know if I ever get lost outdoors. - Good movies
I don't plan forcing my kids to watch The Godfather or Back to the Future, but there are some movies everyone needs to have a working knowledge of. I can't imagine walking around not quite knowing who Yoda is. I'm not sure exactly what I would show them, but around the time I was 16 I really went through the family movie collection. At least Blazing Saddles, Dumb and Dumber, Old School, Shawshank, Pulp Fiction and most of the IMDB top 100. - How to use power tools
As a kid I used to help my dad out on all sorts of projects. Usually he would give me a shot on the drill or table saw. I couldn't believe when I went to school that some kids couldn't drill a pilot hole, or even hang a picture with a hammer and nail. I would have felt downright foolish not knowing those things. Thanks pops! - How to hook up a entertainment system
When I moved into one of my college houses, there were only two of us who knew how to hook up all the cables and internet properly. That shit was even color-coded. I'm making sure my kid know how to hook up system, and the differences between formats which will probably be 2160P vs 1440I. Or whatever future shit they have by then. - How to tap a keg
I had the benefit of my dad insisting that we get a keg for my high school graduation party. About 40 minutes before it started he took me aside and taught me how to tap a keg. It was one of the best things I've ever learned. It came in handy a couple of times freshman year but was really useful sophomore year. Once people moved out of the dorms and into houses they would throw parties, but generally no one would know how to tap the keg. I think that year I tapped between 20-30 and probably more than 100 in my collegiate career. It's so simple, but if you do it wrong you get beer sprayed in you're face. The experience also let me master other crazy taps like a latch design and minor tap repair.
I don't like thinking too much about having kids, but occasionally I'll think to myself "Gee whiz, I'm really glad I know how to do that" or "Damn, I wish someone would have taught me that". So I will ensure that my kids know how to do all the important things, like light their farts on fire.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Brian Goes Home; Ruins Stranger's Friendships and Acts like a Perv
As I write this it is the wee hours of July 5th. It is exactly 2 years to the day after this story took place. I have long thought this to be one of my greatest adventures, but until now it has remained unpublished. This was originally written in July of 2008 after the events transpired but has been slightly edited for content because my mom might see this and that scares me.
I had to go back home this weekend because I had been invited to the wedding of my roommate Paul's older sister Rita. 300 miles each way is nothing as long as there is a open bar involved.
The story starts on Wednesday night in Chicago, when I went out to dinner with my sister, who was in town. Afterward we met some friends at the bar for drinks. Well, a few pitchers turned into a few Jaeger bombs, which in turn became a few buckets of Bud Light which of course led to Rumplemints shots. All in all, I was a little drunk when I went home.
The next day I woke up and went to work. For 16 hours. First I went into the office for the whole day and then "volunteered" to work from 5 to midnight being an information specialist for the Chicago fireworks. I was at Navy Pier which probably had 100,000 people watching the fireworks. I was to give them directions on how to get home. I have only been living here for 5 weeks, and I have no clue where anything is. But I got to watch the fireworks, which were amazing.
The morning of the 4th I woke up, ate a quesadilla, listened to God Bless America and got on the megabus to go back to Detroit. This is a good time for a little lesson on phrasing. I learned the hard way that saying "The dude blew a tranny in front of Dan Ryan" is a little different than saying "The bus driver had a transmission problem near the Dan Ryan expressway". One short delay later we were back on the road.
I decided to spend the Friday night in Ann Arbor before going home on Saturday for the wedding. I got in at about 2:30 and was picked up by a friend who handed me a road beer. This was the start of a afternoon of celebrating America. My roommate Brick, who, by the way, was wearing a child sized "USA" jersey and cutoffs, made an excellent July 4th playlist and we spent the day on State Street playing beer can golf, grilling, lighting fireworks, burning things and drinking heavily. I bought a pint of 151, and used 2/3rd's if it as an accelerant. Drinking the other third led to us playing shirts vs skins fire pong to a repeating "Eye of the Tiger".
It's weird, but the drunker we got, the more we wanted to play with fire and fireworks. I kinda knew how drunk I was when I got hit with a bottle rocket and didn't feel pain.
So, I know what your saying. So far he has gotten drunk, and played with fireworks. But here is when the night gets good. I usually don't like to write about these type of things because it makes me sound sleazy, but what the hell.
Around 10pm my buddy John came over after studying for the MCAT all day. I convinced him to go to the bar with me. We went to the Jug - which was nearly empty - and started doing shots and splitting pitchers. I was in horrible shape from the all afternoon. Then two girls came up to us at the bar and started talking to us. I have no idea what we talked about but luckily John has been able to fill me in.
I do remember them telling us that they were going to Pizza House with their two friends, and they pointed over to two guys sitting at a booth. Then one of them said "Don't worry, they're gay". That's when I knew this night was going to be quite blogable. We tell them that we might meet them over there in a bit and we finish our beers. We go over to Pizza house and of course order 22oz beers. John was not nearly as drunk as I was and he had the MCATs the next week. He only agreed to hang around until the food came, he saw this situation for what it's was - getting picked up by two uggo's - and eventually stood up and said "I have to go" and walks out. This lead to the girls having a bathroom pow-wow while I tell the gay dudes all about the Chicago Gay Pride Parade that I had just attended. I guess the girls didn't settle the issue in the bathroom because on the way back to one of the gay guy's apartments I was holding one of the girls hands while I had my arm around the other. The girl who my arm was around kept taking my hand and putting it down her shirt while I whispered in the ear of the other girl. The only thing I could think about was the part in Office Space where Peter asks Lawrence what he would do if he had a million dollars.
We get back to the apartment and one girl is in one bedroom and the other is on the couch. It was like that episode of Boy Meets World where Cory promises to be at his friend Franky's wrestling match and also at Topanga's sweet sixteen. He spends the entire episode running between the two locations. Much like Cory Matthews, I failed to keep the charade going which led to the two girls going into the dude's bedroom and both presenting their sides to the gay friend tribunal. I got no say in the matter. Apparently one girl was game for the threesome, but the other wouldn't do it. There was some crying but eventually they got it sorted out. Unfortunately the girl that won was the monstrosity, and not very skilled. The best dialog came just a few minutes later when I told the one girl that I felt bad for her friend (I think I was still trying to work the threesome) and she responded "Yeah but she's not as horny as I am". Well that settled that I guess. There were three sentences in here that had to be deleted, sorry. But, even as I left at 4 in the morning I woke up the other girl to mess around a bit with her before I left. I walked out of the apartment building a yelled "I am a golden goddess" probably loud enough for them to hear it. I went home and crawled in my closet bed (a mattress in my closet, that is used mainly for when my roommate starts having sex on my real bed and I figure that the closet bed at least has sheets on it).
I woke up 3 hours later confused, hot, dehydrated, and the wondering whether I should have tried to "chili dog" the girl from last night. My parents came to pick me up from Ann Arbor and on the way back my mom of course asked me "Did you see any girls when you came back to Ann Arbor?" I really wanted to respond "Just the two random strangers I met 8 hours ago." But after last week when my dad had to convince my mom that I wasn't gay for going to the Gay Pride Parade I really wanted to keep her worried.
The wedding was nice and the bridal party was huge. 13 bridesmaids and 11 groomsmen. We pre-gamed for the open bar and by the time we got there we got right to business. The Troy Marriott was pretty convinced I was not of age, because I was carded 7 times by 5 employee's at a wedding. After dinner I went across the table and started talking to a 20 year old who went to Miami of Ohio. I started feeding drinks to her and her younger sister. About every 10 minutes I would go up to the bar and order 3 vodka-tonics. Well after about an hour and a half of solid flirting her dad came over and totally cock blocked me from his daughters. Although he didn't seem to mind that I was giving them hard liquor. I guess they had to go home.
About that time one of Paul's hot (read: foreign) cousin's from Germany came over and started talking to us. It turned out she was 16. I did a quick half-your-age-plus-seven and realized that things just weren't going to fly. It was also about this time that the booze kicked in and the dance floor became one of those circles where people clap as others going into the circle and dance. Someone always does the worm (it was the grooms brother) and everyone else just stands around waiting for someone to go into the circle. I wanted to go into the circle. I decided to take the 16 year old German girl into the circle. I also decided to dance with her HARD. It was quite the sight. Afterwards the bride came up to me and goes "Brian what the hell were you doing with my cousin! Shes 16!"
Right before midnight the open bar was about to close, which led to a race to see who could get the most alcohol. Paul set the bar high with 6 straight bourbons, but I tried to two up him by ordering 8 vodka's on the rocks. She said she would only give me five. In my state those extra three wern't really going to make a difference. By this time there are only 8 or so of us left and we danced to Miley Cyrus until the DJ's left, then we went to a bar across the street for the after party. Oddly enough the 16 year old had no trouble drinking in the bar across the street. Then I called my sister and made her drive us home.
Weekend Successful!
Friday Drinks (3 Bed Lights, 2 High Life's, 3 Bacardi 151's, 2 Budweiser's, 2 High Life's, 1 shot at the jug, 4 pint's at the jug, a 22oz at Pizza house) 19 drinks over the course of nearly 12 hours.
Saturday drinks: 1 Mint Julep, 2 Bud Light's, 1 Rum + Coke, 2 Vodkatonics, 1 Hienekin, 2 Bud Light's, 1 Heinekin, 1 bourbon, 1 Heinekin, 2 straight vodkas, one 22oz at Champps) 16 Drinks
I had to go back home this weekend because I had been invited to the wedding of my roommate Paul's older sister Rita. 300 miles each way is nothing as long as there is a open bar involved.
The story starts on Wednesday night in Chicago, when I went out to dinner with my sister, who was in town. Afterward we met some friends at the bar for drinks. Well, a few pitchers turned into a few Jaeger bombs, which in turn became a few buckets of Bud Light which of course led to Rumplemints shots. All in all, I was a little drunk when I went home.
The next day I woke up and went to work. For 16 hours. First I went into the office for the whole day and then "volunteered" to work from 5 to midnight being an information specialist for the Chicago fireworks. I was at Navy Pier which probably had 100,000 people watching the fireworks. I was to give them directions on how to get home. I have only been living here for 5 weeks, and I have no clue where anything is. But I got to watch the fireworks, which were amazing.
The morning of the 4th I woke up, ate a quesadilla, listened to God Bless America and got on the megabus to go back to Detroit. This is a good time for a little lesson on phrasing. I learned the hard way that saying "The dude blew a tranny in front of Dan Ryan" is a little different than saying "The bus driver had a transmission problem near the Dan Ryan expressway". One short delay later we were back on the road.
I decided to spend the Friday night in Ann Arbor before going home on Saturday for the wedding. I got in at about 2:30 and was picked up by a friend who handed me a road beer. This was the start of a afternoon of celebrating America. My roommate Brick, who, by the way, was wearing a child sized "USA" jersey and cutoffs, made an excellent July 4th playlist and we spent the day on State Street playing beer can golf, grilling, lighting fireworks, burning things and drinking heavily. I bought a pint of 151, and used 2/3rd's if it as an accelerant. Drinking the other third led to us playing shirts vs skins fire pong to a repeating "Eye of the Tiger".
It's weird, but the drunker we got, the more we wanted to play with fire and fireworks. I kinda knew how drunk I was when I got hit with a bottle rocket and didn't feel pain.
So, I know what your saying. So far he has gotten drunk, and played with fireworks. But here is when the night gets good. I usually don't like to write about these type of things because it makes me sound sleazy, but what the hell.
Around 10pm my buddy John came over after studying for the MCAT all day. I convinced him to go to the bar with me. We went to the Jug - which was nearly empty - and started doing shots and splitting pitchers. I was in horrible shape from the all afternoon. Then two girls came up to us at the bar and started talking to us. I have no idea what we talked about but luckily John has been able to fill me in.
This is how we started talking to them. First of all...monstrosity comes up to me, puts her hand on my shoulder and asks me if I have a light...in a real disgusting phone whore voice. I say no. Then she says-what about you man...you proceed to empty the entire contents of your pockets and tell her you got nothing. It was obviously just a pick up line. She then asked us what we did. I answered for us...I told her that you run all commerce in Chicago and I work in a lab. She then asked us if we wanted to sit in a booth...we weren't that drunk yet. [I was that drunk -ed]I thought that one was a 5 and the other was maybe a 2, but at that point every girl seemed like a binary 1 to me. John has since told me that my ratings were a little "generous".
They came back asking us where we live. I told her that i lived in bum park and you told her you live in box...i didn't want that slut hunting me down later. After that i have no idea what you talked with tracy or teresea or whatever her name was about. I'm pretty sure you spit some mean game...because i could tell she wanted to fuck you...hard. Monstrosity wanted anything with a dick...even if it was a tranny.
I do remember them telling us that they were going to Pizza House with their two friends, and they pointed over to two guys sitting at a booth. Then one of them said "Don't worry, they're gay". That's when I knew this night was going to be quite blogable. We tell them that we might meet them over there in a bit and we finish our beers. We go over to Pizza house and of course order 22oz beers. John was not nearly as drunk as I was and he had the MCATs the next week. He only agreed to hang around until the food came, he saw this situation for what it's was - getting picked up by two uggo's - and eventually stood up and said "I have to go" and walks out. This lead to the girls having a bathroom pow-wow while I tell the gay dudes all about the Chicago Gay Pride Parade that I had just attended. I guess the girls didn't settle the issue in the bathroom because on the way back to one of the gay guy's apartments I was holding one of the girls hands while I had my arm around the other. The girl who my arm was around kept taking my hand and putting it down her shirt while I whispered in the ear of the other girl. The only thing I could think about was the part in Office Space where Peter asks Lawrence what he would do if he had a million dollars.
We get back to the apartment and one girl is in one bedroom and the other is on the couch. It was like that episode of Boy Meets World where Cory promises to be at his friend Franky's wrestling match and also at Topanga's sweet sixteen. He spends the entire episode running between the two locations. Much like Cory Matthews, I failed to keep the charade going which led to the two girls going into the dude's bedroom and both presenting their sides to the gay friend tribunal. I got no say in the matter. Apparently one girl was game for the threesome, but the other wouldn't do it. There was some crying but eventually they got it sorted out. Unfortunately the girl that won was the monstrosity, and not very skilled. The best dialog came just a few minutes later when I told the one girl that I felt bad for her friend (I think I was still trying to work the threesome) and she responded "Yeah but she's not as horny as I am". Well that settled that I guess. There were three sentences in here that had to be deleted, sorry. But, even as I left at 4 in the morning I woke up the other girl to mess around a bit with her before I left. I walked out of the apartment building a yelled "I am a golden goddess" probably loud enough for them to hear it. I went home and crawled in my closet bed (a mattress in my closet, that is used mainly for when my roommate starts having sex on my real bed and I figure that the closet bed at least has sheets on it).
I woke up 3 hours later confused, hot, dehydrated, and the wondering whether I should have tried to "chili dog" the girl from last night. My parents came to pick me up from Ann Arbor and on the way back my mom of course asked me "Did you see any girls when you came back to Ann Arbor?" I really wanted to respond "Just the two random strangers I met 8 hours ago." But after last week when my dad had to convince my mom that I wasn't gay for going to the Gay Pride Parade I really wanted to keep her worried.
The wedding was nice and the bridal party was huge. 13 bridesmaids and 11 groomsmen. We pre-gamed for the open bar and by the time we got there we got right to business. The Troy Marriott was pretty convinced I was not of age, because I was carded 7 times by 5 employee's at a wedding. After dinner I went across the table and started talking to a 20 year old who went to Miami of Ohio. I started feeding drinks to her and her younger sister. About every 10 minutes I would go up to the bar and order 3 vodka-tonics. Well after about an hour and a half of solid flirting her dad came over and totally cock blocked me from his daughters. Although he didn't seem to mind that I was giving them hard liquor. I guess they had to go home.
About that time one of Paul's hot (read: foreign) cousin's from Germany came over and started talking to us. It turned out she was 16. I did a quick half-your-age-plus-seven and realized that things just weren't going to fly. It was also about this time that the booze kicked in and the dance floor became one of those circles where people clap as others going into the circle and dance. Someone always does the worm (it was the grooms brother) and everyone else just stands around waiting for someone to go into the circle. I wanted to go into the circle. I decided to take the 16 year old German girl into the circle. I also decided to dance with her HARD. It was quite the sight. Afterwards the bride came up to me and goes "Brian what the hell were you doing with my cousin! Shes 16!"
Right before midnight the open bar was about to close, which led to a race to see who could get the most alcohol. Paul set the bar high with 6 straight bourbons, but I tried to two up him by ordering 8 vodka's on the rocks. She said she would only give me five. In my state those extra three wern't really going to make a difference. By this time there are only 8 or so of us left and we danced to Miley Cyrus until the DJ's left, then we went to a bar across the street for the after party. Oddly enough the 16 year old had no trouble drinking in the bar across the street. Then I called my sister and made her drive us home.
Weekend Successful!
Friday Drinks (3 Bed Lights, 2 High Life's, 3 Bacardi 151's, 2 Budweiser's, 2 High Life's, 1 shot at the jug, 4 pint's at the jug, a 22oz at Pizza house) 19 drinks over the course of nearly 12 hours.
Saturday drinks: 1 Mint Julep, 2 Bud Light's, 1 Rum + Coke, 2 Vodkatonics, 1 Hienekin, 2 Bud Light's, 1 Heinekin, 1 bourbon, 1 Heinekin, 2 straight vodkas, one 22oz at Champps) 16 Drinks
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Brian adds to the internet again
As if once wasn't enough. I've really grown to dislike Christian Bale. I love American Physco but have found his recent roles to be as lackluster as a Polish handjob.
I found myself in possession of a Netflix movie tonight that featured the Mr. Bale himself. The movie was Rescue Dawn or as I call it the poor man's Deerhunter. Anyways, the movie was a real riot, quite the knee-slapper. Well only this one part. But it was so good I had to add it to the internet. So here it is in all it's Bale-ish glory.
I found myself in possession of a Netflix movie tonight that featured the Mr. Bale himself. The movie was Rescue Dawn or as I call it the poor man's Deerhunter. Anyways, the movie was a real riot, quite the knee-slapper. Well only this one part. But it was so good I had to add it to the internet. So here it is in all it's Bale-ish glory.
Monday, June 14, 2010
More texts with strangers
I have a knack for making friends with the random strangers that text me. Tonight was no exception.
Random: hi
Me: Hello
Random: Who is this?
Me: Brian. Who is this?
Random: Last name?
Me: Is 'Lastname' your name? This relationship is only going to work if it is based on honesty.
Random: ?
Random: Whats ur last name?
At this point I get a phone call from an obviously pre-pubescent boy. We chat for awhile, I tell them that I am watching Avatar and they tell me about the bonfire they are at. They sound like pretty cool dudes for 8th graders. It's Mike and his friend Grant. I tell them that we could talk again later.
Me: Do you know Mike from U of D?
Random: Yes...
Me: I was just talking to him and he is at a bonfire. You should go.
Random: uh ok.
Me: What's your name? It's totally unfair that you know my name and I don't know yours.
Random: It's liesl
Me: That's a pretty unique name. So liesl, I'm pretty sure we've never met. But we can still be friends if you want.
Random: Otay
Me: Great, I'm guessing you're from Detroit, I grew up there but now I live in Seattle
Random: Yeah i am
Me: I always thought the 'burbs kinda sucked. Ann Arbor is much more fun.
Random: I dnt care
Me: Well you sure are a barrell of fun. Maybe. we'll talk later new friend.
Random: Sorry im just pissed off at some people and im kinda taking it out on u
Me: I'm sorry about that. How did you get my cell number anyways?
Random: Grant H******
Me: Haha I wonder if that was the kid who called me earlier with his friend Mike
Random: I think so haha
So I now feel like a have a vested interested in the lives of these kids. I feel like I could make a difference in their lives if only given a chance. I think that Mike and Liesl belong together, and I think Mike is totally fucking it up, by playing these stupid pranks on her. I'll have to keep up on the situation and try to report back.
Random: hi
Me: Hello
Random: Who is this?
Me: Brian. Who is this?
Random: Last name?
Me: Is 'Lastname' your name? This relationship is only going to work if it is based on honesty.
Random: ?
Random: Whats ur last name?
At this point I get a phone call from an obviously pre-pubescent boy. We chat for awhile, I tell them that I am watching Avatar and they tell me about the bonfire they are at. They sound like pretty cool dudes for 8th graders. It's Mike and his friend Grant. I tell them that we could talk again later.
Me: Do you know Mike from U of D?
Random: Yes...
Me: I was just talking to him and he is at a bonfire. You should go.
Random: uh ok.
Me: What's your name? It's totally unfair that you know my name and I don't know yours.
Random: It's liesl
Me: That's a pretty unique name. So liesl, I'm pretty sure we've never met. But we can still be friends if you want.
Random: Otay
Me: Great, I'm guessing you're from Detroit, I grew up there but now I live in Seattle
Random: Yeah i am
Me: I always thought the 'burbs kinda sucked. Ann Arbor is much more fun.
Random: I dnt care
Me: Well you sure are a barrell of fun. Maybe. we'll talk later new friend.
Random: Sorry im just pissed off at some people and im kinda taking it out on u
Me: I'm sorry about that. How did you get my cell number anyways?
Random: Grant H******
Me: Haha I wonder if that was the kid who called me earlier with his friend Mike
Random: I think so haha
So I now feel like a have a vested interested in the lives of these kids. I feel like I could make a difference in their lives if only given a chance. I think that Mike and Liesl belong together, and I think Mike is totally fucking it up, by playing these stupid pranks on her. I'll have to keep up on the situation and try to report back.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Roomates: The Dirty Sanchez
I lived with Dirty Sanchez my sophomore year. Living with that kid was pretty cool because with the right level of peer pressure he would pretty much do anything. There are only three pictures on facebook of both of us. This is one of them.
It's from FLASBO8 where we were partying in a condo in Naples, FL one night. This was also the same night that I got my ass kicked by a 40 year old milf in a chugging contest.
Sanchez was a pretty great roommate in the filth that we lived in at 510 Benjamin. We would come home from class on turn on Timbaland or The Fray and just rock out. It was 2006, and that what college dudes did back then. Kids today are all about their hipsters and icing and wienie whacking (<-- I promise to explain wienie whacking in a future blog post.) Back in my day all we had was Goth kids and The Fray, and we appreciated it.
The best part about Sanchez was his ability to play video games. No matter what game he played he would dominate. For awhile we were really into playing Halo. We had two TV's and Xbox's so we would have one system in Ross's room and another in the living room and play system link. No matter what the teams were Sanchez would win. We once played everyone against him and he still won. It was ridiculous.
But the game we played more than Halo was Super Smash Bros for N64. We loved that game. Some of the most epic battles in SSB history probably occurred in our sophomore year house. Once, we played a 99 life team match on Hyrule Castle. It took like 2 hours and at the end my eyes had completely dried out. There is one thing Sanchez will probably be pissed about but I'm going to write about anyways because it is too funny not to. When he would play video games he would get so into them that he would break a sweat. But not like a normal sweat. He would be completely covered in sweat. There were times when he wouldn't play video games with us because he didn't want to have to take a shower after he was finished.
One of the lasting memories of our Sophomore year house is day we decided to put a little wager on the a game of Smash Bros. The bet was him vs a team of me and Peter on a standard 8-life game. The terms were that the loser(s) would have to run around the outside of the house completely naked. We stipulated that you couldn't hold your junk either. If I recall correctly I died first leaving just Pete and Sanchez to duke it out. Sanchez was down to his last life with like 60% damage and Pete had a couple of lives. But I really didn't matter because Sanchez was unstoppable one on one. Somehow a miracle ensued and Pete killed him, meaning that he would have to run - balls flapping - around the house. It took some coercing to do but finally he agreed. It just happened that it was the day that our neighbors parents came up to move their daughter home for the summer. And yes, we declined the rematch.
It's from FLASBO8 where we were partying in a condo in Naples, FL one night. This was also the same night that I got my ass kicked by a 40 year old milf in a chugging contest.
Sanchez was a pretty great roommate in the filth that we lived in at 510 Benjamin. We would come home from class on turn on Timbaland or The Fray and just rock out. It was 2006, and that what college dudes did back then. Kids today are all about their hipsters and icing and wienie whacking (<-- I promise to explain wienie whacking in a future blog post.) Back in my day all we had was Goth kids and The Fray, and we appreciated it.
The best part about Sanchez was his ability to play video games. No matter what game he played he would dominate. For awhile we were really into playing Halo. We had two TV's and Xbox's so we would have one system in Ross's room and another in the living room and play system link. No matter what the teams were Sanchez would win. We once played everyone against him and he still won. It was ridiculous.
But the game we played more than Halo was Super Smash Bros for N64. We loved that game. Some of the most epic battles in SSB history probably occurred in our sophomore year house. Once, we played a 99 life team match on Hyrule Castle. It took like 2 hours and at the end my eyes had completely dried out. There is one thing Sanchez will probably be pissed about but I'm going to write about anyways because it is too funny not to. When he would play video games he would get so into them that he would break a sweat. But not like a normal sweat. He would be completely covered in sweat. There were times when he wouldn't play video games with us because he didn't want to have to take a shower after he was finished.
One of the lasting memories of our Sophomore year house is day we decided to put a little wager on the a game of Smash Bros. The bet was him vs a team of me and Peter on a standard 8-life game. The terms were that the loser(s) would have to run around the outside of the house completely naked. We stipulated that you couldn't hold your junk either. If I recall correctly I died first leaving just Pete and Sanchez to duke it out. Sanchez was down to his last life with like 60% damage and Pete had a couple of lives. But I really didn't matter because Sanchez was unstoppable one on one. Somehow a miracle ensued and Pete killed him, meaning that he would have to run - balls flapping - around the house. It took some coercing to do but finally he agreed. It just happened that it was the day that our neighbors parents came up to move their daughter home for the summer. And yes, we declined the rematch.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A selected story from South Bend
I'm sitting at O'hare waiting for my flight home from my buddys wedding. To keep from being excessivly bored I figure I'll pound out a blog post. I'm typing this on my broke ass iPhone so... yeah.
The reception had an open bar and they were serving shots. Some open bars don't serve shot to keep people from getting excessively drunk. I got excessively drunk. But it was a celebration, bitches! After the reception ended a few of us went to the bar for a post party. After a couple more shots I realized that I was too inebreated to be at the bar and I decide to walk back to my hotel. The hotel is in the biggest building in South Bend so I kinda knew where I was going.
I don't really know how or under what circumstances I met him but somehow I started talking with a homeless man. We are walking along just having a terrific chat. About life, love and being an out of work welder. As we walk I see a Burger King a few blocks away. I really want some BK but it's like 2 am and only the drive thru is open. Willie says that he can get us some Whoppers. So Willie and I walk up to the drive thru window. Me a 23 white guy in a shirt and tie, Willie a 40 year old black man with a scruffy beard and a raincoat. The manager goes "Willie! What are you doing here?" but she agrees to sell us some food. I tell Willie to order whatever he wants and I would pay for it. We both order a couple whoppers and I pay with a twenty and give the change to Willie. So we continue our walk and our conversation. When we get close to the hotel we had to say our goodbyes and part ways. I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure I gave Willie a big hug.
The reception had an open bar and they were serving shots. Some open bars don't serve shot to keep people from getting excessively drunk. I got excessively drunk. But it was a celebration, bitches! After the reception ended a few of us went to the bar for a post party. After a couple more shots I realized that I was too inebreated to be at the bar and I decide to walk back to my hotel. The hotel is in the biggest building in South Bend so I kinda knew where I was going.
I don't really know how or under what circumstances I met him but somehow I started talking with a homeless man. We are walking along just having a terrific chat. About life, love and being an out of work welder. As we walk I see a Burger King a few blocks away. I really want some BK but it's like 2 am and only the drive thru is open. Willie says that he can get us some Whoppers. So Willie and I walk up to the drive thru window. Me a 23 white guy in a shirt and tie, Willie a 40 year old black man with a scruffy beard and a raincoat. The manager goes "Willie! What are you doing here?" but she agrees to sell us some food. I tell Willie to order whatever he wants and I would pay for it. We both order a couple whoppers and I pay with a twenty and give the change to Willie. So we continue our walk and our conversation. When we get close to the hotel we had to say our goodbyes and part ways. I'm not certain but I'm pretty sure I gave Willie a big hug.
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