Another E-mail Post

I suggest starting from the initial email below and then reading my rejoinder. I'm pretty sure I used 6 too many commas in the 4th paragraph.

On Tue, Apr 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM, Bryan *******  wrote:

Good Afternoon Brian,

I hope you had a good weekend.

Do you have a few minutes this week to speak about last basketball season?  I was hoping to learn about your experience and get some feedback. Please let me know if there is a good time and day to reach you.

I've also attached more information on your season ticket benefits for this season.

Thank you again for your support and I look forward to speaking with you.

Bryan

---------- Reply message ----------
From: Brian
Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2014 at 6:09 PM
Subject: Re: A few minutes to speak?
To: Bryan *******

Hello Bryan,

I had an excellent weekend. Thank you for asking. I hope you had a good weekend as well.

I do have a few minutes to speak about last basketball season, but I suspect that I am not the Brian you are intending to speak to. Unfortunately, I have never attended a Carleton Ravens game, although from what I understand, they had a terrific season capped of with another national championship. Congratulations!

Carleton has been kind enough to send me email updates on the team since the fall of 2012. Despite several attempts to unsubscribe from your e-blasts I remained solidly in-the-know regarding the happenings of the Carleton Ravens. Unfortunately I was not able to attend the Women's Basketball Shoot for the Cure this past February, as I live in California.

Don't get me wrong Bryan, I would love to attend more Carleton games but I simply don't make it to Ottawa enough to take in the action. Although I am a fan of Canadian basketball, especially since the great province of Ontario has produced one of my favorite players, the venerable Nik Stauskas, who happens to play for my Alma Mater, The University of Michigan.

You can reach out to me any time. Stay in touch.

- Brian

P.S. I enjoyed the recent write up on the Men's Basketball Program on Grantland.Com.

Brian gets spammed hardcore

So this dumb bitch decides that she wants people to take her psych survey (whose link doesn't work) so she decides to spam her dorm hall and the entire psych group that totals about 500 people. So someone emails back that it doesn't work, then a few more people also email that the project was due a week ago. Then one idiot decided that they didn't want to be part of the group so they email the entire group to be removed. This starts a firestorm or emails.

4:25 - First email sent

6:04 - First "Don't reply to all" email

6:09 - First "Please take me off the list" email

6:41 - First new subject (thread) to get sent out about being taken off the list.

6:42 - Original emailer sends out an apology and begs everyone to stop ending emails. Her pleads are unheard over the sounds of people clicking "reply to all".

6:43 - I send out my first email to everyone:

I swear that if any one else replies to all I will hunt you down on the umich directory and disable every electronic device that you own. I will then convert your keyboard layout to Swahili.

The person who sent out the original email spammed a group that she does not control. SHE CANT TAKE YOU OFF THE MAILING LIST. You have to email the owner Bwallace@umich.edu to be removed. DON'T EMAIL THE ENTIRE GROUP TO BE REMOVED.

Seriously learn some email etiquette.

6:55 - I start individually emailing people who "Reply to All" with this message:

Can you read? You replied to all. You don't deserve to use a computer. What do you have to say for yourself? You better start learning Swahili.

7:13 - Someone sends out an email with the subject "The spam solution!!! Read Brian Russell's email!!!!!!!!!!!" With my email attached.

7:31 - 100th email about this.

The 100 emails came in over 20 threads with the biggest at 51 emails. About half of the emails were "take me off the list" and the other half was "Don't reply to all!". 63 of the Email's were sent between 6:40 and 7pm.

I think the owner or ITCS finally got smart and shut the group down because it's no longer coming up on the directory which is a relieving end to this Wednesday night saga. No one responded to my demands that they explain their rash emailing actions. I think that means they realized that they are idiots.

Who Comes up with this Stuff?

I was scanning through my spam emails today to see if I missed anything when I saw one email that caught my eye. The subject was "all jokes aside, yeah you do got a tiny cock". Intrigued by this I clicked the email to find that it was sent by Rudolph C. Hardy and its destination was Guadalupe H. Love. I guess that Rudolph and Guadalupe were joking about this, but then Rudolph got serious, because "all jokes aside, yeah you do got a tiny cock".


Do people ever really click on these?