A series of unfortunate events

A series of unfortunate events:
1. Go out drinking, and get hamsauced
2. Wake up and don't shower
3. Go to the Police Station to get fingerprints for your job
4. Not have enough change to put into the parking meter
5. Spend all your money on the fingerprints
6. Have a detective think you're plastered drunk
7. Get a parking ticket
8. Go to the bank to get money to pay for the parking ticket
9. En route to the bank make a wrong turn down a one way street, and get pulled over
10. Have the officer realized that you smell like booze
11. Get arrested at 2pm on a Thursday
12. Get fingerprints taken again

Luckily not all of those happened. Around event 10, I thought the officer was surely going to smell my hangover, but instead I got out of the ticket and wasn't arrested, even though I definitely wasn't still drunk. Just goes to show how Peter not having a quarter could have really changed my life for the worse. What a bad friend.

Brian uses his balls

There is only one way to deal with ruthless, soulless, logically inept organizations that are property management companies. That is to use your balls. With all their complaining about advertisements on the house, and kids living in basement, and me performing more than 10 minutes of auto work in my driveway. Sometimes you just have to go in there, threaten to take them to court, and make them look at your meaty balls.

Today I had to show my neighbors landlord my massive, yet nurturing balls. We park double wide in our driveway and also on the grass on the other side of our driveway. Like this.



Today we had notes on our cars that they were going to begin to tow our cars because they were parked on their lawn. Our neighbors don't care but I guess their property company does. But I like parking there so, I decided to show them my hunky balls. I called them up and the conversation went something like this.

My balls: Hi we live next door to your property at 1001 S. State. We park our cars beside our house and today we had notes on them from you guys saying you were going to tow them in the future. You see, when you put the addition on that house you built right up to the property line and our cars aren't on your property, but in fact your air conditioning units fall onto our property. We don't really care about your AC units being on our land, but if you try to remove our cars from our property we're going to take you to court and also remove your AC units from our property. They look like really nice units and I would hate to see anything happen to them.

Her: Uhh... I can't really talk with these juicy balls in my mouth.

She said something about bringing it up to the staff and shit. I told her that in the future they need to came talk to us and not leave unsigned notes on our cars. Then I rubbed my balls against the phone.

To be honest I have no clue where the property line falls, but I do know where by balls hang.