I would be feeling better right now if...

... last night I hadn't done any one of the following.

• Eaten $9 of KFC for dinner
  
• Gorged myself at an open bar from 6-9
  
• Bought a 40 of Mickeys from another bar
• Met up with my cousin who bought me shots
• Entered into a hundred dollar contest to see who could pick up a girl
  
• Getting so drunk that my cousin had to get me a cab home
• Getting kicked out of said cab for being too drunk
• Immediately puking after getting out of aforementioned cab
• Passing out the wrong way on my bed with all of my clothes on

I would prefer to wallow all day, but there is a keg of Oberon waiting for me on a roof.