10 years ago today I moved from Seattle to San Diego. I packed whatever I could fit in the back of my Camaro, drove down I-5 and stayed with Jello in SF. The next day we drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, stopping in Santa Barbara for the night. After making our way through LA we arrived in San Diego and celebrated by having a beer at the bar inside the Hillcrest Whole Foods.
Jello and I at the grocery store bar
0 years ago Michigan won the National Championship. Their first since 1997, when I was 9. At the time I was young enough to think it would be a somewhat regular occurrence. But it was a long arduous road to get back to the top of the mountain. Many better writers have waxed poetic on this journey and what it means. For me it's sheer joy and elation, having stood in the Big House and watched us lose to Toledo in 2008. All those low moments and having to watch all the players who graduated without ever sniffing a Championship, or worse, a win against Ohio State. Those lows make this high feel even higher.
I'd love nothing more than a Michigan dynasty. But it's a rapidly diminishing marginal return. That feeling of the first win against Ohio State after losing 8 in a row doesn't compare with their feelings if they had won a 9th. Just getting back here, even once is enough for me. As Blake Corum said "Business is Finished". I will still be a huge fan forever and watch every game, but that weight of them desperately needing to win each game feels like it's been lifted. Maybe not against our rivals who we need to beat to keep talking trash, but if we lose to USC or Texas next year, I think I'd be immediately at peace with it. I don't want to wait another 26 years, but I'm content to ride this championship for at least the next 10.
Nothing beats the joy of your team winning, but a close second is the joy of watching a team you hate lose to another opponent. The Germans call it schadenfreude. But I've recently realized that I enjoy watching certain teams lose for uniquely different reasons. I've come to the conclusion that my joy of watching other teams lose is unique and complex and should be shared with the world. So here are my current top-5 teams that I enjoy watch losing.
1) Ohio State
I hate everything about Ohio State and love it when they lose. This one is 75% blind hatred, but there is also a 25% joy of watching them lose is that in it might directly help Michigan. An Ohio State loss might improve Michigan's chances of winning a three-way tie in the B1G East. This is the most practical reason on the entire list. In past years I would have said that I also enjoyed watching them lose because I hated Jim Tressel and Urban Myer and the hypocrisy they represented. But I don't really hate Ryan Day he seems a bit annoying but overall a fine dude, but they are still a clear #1.
2) Michigan State
For as long as I can remember watching MSU lose was great because of their fan meltdowns. They have the shittiest fans with the biggest inferiority complex of any power 5 program. But a new reason to love watching them lose has emerged. They went out and gave their coach a $95 Million Dollar fully guaranteed contract - for a guy who had a 16-14 career coaching record. MSU took a guy with a mediocre record and made him one of the highest paid coaches in the country. I want him to fail. Not because I have anything against Mel Tucker, good for him for taking advantage of MSU being super dumb. I just want to prove how dumb it is to take a guy with such a flimsy record and give him $95 million dollars.
You'll note that I don't include the same rationale of wanting them to lose to because it might help Michigan. I guess I just don't ever think of them in that way.
3) Alabama
I loved watching Bama go down to Tennessee today. But it's solely because they've been so good for so long. It's like rooting against the Yankees. When you've made 7 of 8 CFPs, you're easy to root against. I think for a long time I also disliked Nick Saban, but over the years I think I've grown to respect his dominance.
4) Nebraska
This one is why I'm writing this post. For years I've taken great joy in watching Nebraska lose, and it was all because I hated Scott Frost. Michigan fans hate Scott Frost for pretty good reasons. We also don't care much for his mom. I think there was also this comparison between Scott Frost and Jim Harbaugh* especially during and after the 2020 season that both prodigal son's return weren't going to plan and both were on the Hotseat. But at the end of the 2020 season Jim Harbaugh was 49-22 at Michigan with 3 10-win seasons. Scott Frost was 12-20 at Nebraska and 5-7 in his best year. But Harbaugh was the one on the hotseat, although in fairness he had been around for longer, and still hadn't achieved many of the goals set out for him.
Then Harbaugh made the CFP and now Scott Frost is unemployed. But here's the thing, once they fired Scott Frost all the sudden I couldn't continue to enjoy watching them lose. Scott frost getting fired brought me such joy but also sadness I could no longer enjoy watching his team lose. I now hope they return to glory to rub it in Scott Frost's face.
* This is the same issue I have with James Franklin who still gets compared to Jim Harbaugh despite their very different records.
5) Rutgers
I love watching Rutgers lose, but it doesn't really have much to do with Rutgers itself. I mean, when Chris Ash was coach I loved watching them lose because he was stupid and annoying, but that went away when they fired his ass after Michigan beat him 52-0. Instead I hope Rutgers loses every game because they should have never been allowed to join the Big Ten and they don't deserve to be part of our conference. They must perennially suck (not just in Football, but in all sports) just to show the Big Ten conference that they bring nothing of value and are pure trash - just like the state of New Jersey. Okay, maybe it does have something to do with Rutgers.
In summary:
OSU - 75% blind hatred
25% could help Michigan
MSU - 50% stupid fans
50% your massive overpayment of a mediocre coach must be punished
Bama - 100% too good for too long
Nebraska - 100% I hated Scott Frost, but now I want them to win as a Fuck You to Scott Frost.
Rutgers - 100% To show the Big Ten that they should get kicked out of the conference.
Honorable Mention:
I hate most teams from Florida. They can all lose every game for all I care.
With the end of my domestic travels and my international travels about to begin, I have found myself in a rare position for me. I am somewhat homeless. My lease in Ann Arbor ended August 24th, and I don't leave for Europe for another two weeks. My permanent address is still in Washington, but I've found myself shuttling back and forth between my parents house and Ann Arbor where I squat in places friendly to my low income lifestyle.
Luckily over the course of the summer I've become close with my summer housemate's group of friends. One of the nicest feelings I've ever gotten was when my roommates said they wished I could keep living with them, and that I was an upgrade over their friend I was sub-letting from. As a stranger to the group only 3 months ago, this was a pretty nice compliment.
So I've been staying at home for the beginning of the week and then traveling up to Ann Arbor for the weekends. Last weekend was the first football game so I was also lucky to have some of my friends come into town. I also stayed with my buddy Alex who I've known since freshmen year. He has a house at Stadium and Main which is across the street from the Stadium and an ideal tailgate location.
On Thursday night I met up with my new friends and did the traditional 'Welcome Week' thing. We went to the Greenwood block party which was broken up within 10 minutes of us getting there - just like old times. I also told my story of the time Gabe Watson drove his Hummer H2 down Greenwood during the block party many years ago (which is a great story). Then we went and played some drinking games and did shots of vodka from a plastic handle. There was dancing, yelling, a girl crying, playing cards everywhere and a guy talking about what a great taste in music he has. It was a interesting reminder of some of the good and bad things about college life.
Greenwood Block Party
On Friday, I complied with my usual routine for Ann Arbor of going to the UGLi and spending all day trying to find a job that I actually want. Something involving mystique and intrigue while also paying well and supporting my all leisure lifestyle. That evening I found myself out with a couple of my longtime Michigan friends from the dorms. It was another classic college night which involved bars, cabs, house parties, a frat, back to the bars and a bus ride home. I got to sleep around 2am.
Around 6am I awoke to strange noises. I looked out the window and to my amazement saw people setting up tailgates for the 3:30 game. I put my hungover head on the pillow and fell back to sleep knowing it was finally gameday in Ann Arbor. At 9 am I arose for good and started my day off with two cups of coffee and a BITS (beer in the shower).
My gameday consisted of playing drinking games, walking to State street, walking back to Main Street to see an old Box guy, walking back to State Street, walking to Rub Pub BBQ, walking halfway back to the stadium, seeing friends and then walking back to State St, walking over to Oakland to get a ticket to the game for $10, walking back to State Street, walking to the game, standing for 4 hours at the game, walking back to the house I was staying at.
On the porch at the old house
After the game I needed to lie down for an hour, but then I got a second wind and walked over to State Street and pre-gamed while playing Mario Tennis, from there I walked to The Brown Jug to meet up with my college friends, after a great time at the jug we walked over to Skeeps (this is where I started openly complaining about my ass chafage), after many beers and some shame at Skeeps it was time to go home.
At this point I was completely unwilling to walk all the way back to the Stadium from downtown, so two of us tried to get a cab, but at 2am on Saturday that is easier said than done. So after a few frustrating minutes, I just decided to hitchhike. While I'm a big fan of hitchhiking, getting into someones car at 2am might have not been my greatest idea. To my surprise the very first vehicle stopped for us, it was a van with two black dudes in it blasting a song that did not present white people in the best light. But the guys were totally cool and gave us a ride all the way down State street. So another point in my personal log of hitchhiking success stories (which I'm up to about 10 or 11).
Sunday I went back to the library for a bit to use the computers before driving home to my parents house to unwind for a few days. On Thursday I'm heading back up to AA to partake in a fantasy draft for a fantasy football league the guys I lived with have (proof they must actually have liked me). Then everyone comes into town for the Notre Dame game which I hope is just as fun as the last ND-Michigan game which is one of my favorite games of all time.
Last weekend I headed to Dallas, Texas to watch my beloved Michigan Wolverines face off against the Crimson Tide of Alabama.The game wasn't that great, but the trip was still a good time. We bought tickets when they first went on sale in February, and managed to get 14 seats together.
I left work on the Friday before labor day around noon, and drove to the airport. I had a direct flight to Dallas and there were a few other guys on the flight wearing Michigan gear but surprisingly no Alabama fans. I guess that the aerospace and software companies don't recruit much out of Tuscaloosa. I got into DFW around 7:30 and took a 30 minute cab ride into Dallas. We had secured lodging arrangements through Mark's wife's who had friends in Dallas who were going to be out of town that weekend. The amount of trust it must of taken for them to let 9 people stay in their 1 bedroom apartment for the weekend is unfathomable. I was the last to arrive and started sucking down a brewski and watching the MSU-Boise State game. We then left to eat some dinner at Qdoba where we all got Burritos and Beer. We then headed to a bar next door that looked very shady from the outside, but was supposed to make wicked strong cocktails.
After a few admittedly strong cocktails, we made our way down to the heart of Uptown Dallas. I had expected Dallas to be really spread out and suburban, but I was kinda surprised with how walk-able this neighborhood was. We headed to this bar called the Black Friar which had three floors and seemed like a congregation of Michigan fans who graduated around the same time as I did. I ended up meeting up with some old friends and kids who I grew up with. Twice I went up to the very crowded (and hot) bar and ordered 4 Bud Lights just for myself. We ended the night doing warm shots of nasty tequila. We then headed back home where I shared an air mattress with another dude. But we slept with out heads on different sides, so it was okay.
The next morning was gameday and that meant waking up at 7am. Sure, it was a night game, but the rule is 7am on gameday, so that's what we did. We picked up some Kolaches (sausages in a roll) and fought through some rough hangovers. We then loaded into some cars and went over to Albertsons (or as Alex called it "Albatross's") to pick up beer and supplies for our tailgate. We got to our tailgate lot around noon, but it was about 1pm before I felt well enough to start drinking. After a tough first beer, I got a little more loose and conversational.
One of the people we were most excited about being there was Mordor Troy. Troy went to Colorado, but is a Michigan fan and came up to Ann Arbor for the Notre Dame game last year. He had taught us this game called Mordor (this his nickname), which is like speed quarters with solo cups and ping-pong balls and is pure insanity. We played a few rounds of that, and then taught it to the Bama fans tailgaiting next to us. Later we would win $40 from them betting of games of Flip-Cup.
I came away very impressed with Cowboy Stadium. It was pure class through and through. It was a shame that the game results forced me to buy a few more $9 beers than I wanted. But enough about that.
On Sunday we got up and went out to breakfast as a big group. After that I took off for the airport to start the second half of my weekend.
Since it was labor day weekend, and I didn't have anything to do in Dallas for another day, I figured why not go over to Vegas before heading home. So I jetted over there for the night. I decided to skip getting a hotel room and I would just stay up drinking and gambling all night and catch my flight the next morning. This would have been a better plan if I hadn't spent the last two nights getting hammered and barely sleeping on an air mattress. But with free red-bull and coffee at the casinos I wasn't too worried.
I started out at Caesars where I dropped my bag off at the bell desk. I then went right to the sportbook to watch some of the Sunday games and to see what bets were on the board. I ended up betting on the Baylor-SMU game and the Tigers game. I then went across the street to the Flamingo and then made my way south stopping at Wild Bills, Paris and finally Planet Hollywood where I found my ideal blackjack table that had views of both games. I gambled there and watched the games, which I won both my bets. I then headed back to Caesars to claim my tickets. I talked to the sportsbook manager to see if anyone had a line available on the Michigan-Air Force game. He looked it up and told me that only the Wynn had the line out. So I started making my way up to the Wynn. After that I decided why not head all the way north to the dystopia that is the Riveria and Circus Circus. It was a pleasant reminder as to why I never go past Encore.
The entire time my goal was to get down to The Tropacana to see the renovations. I was now at the far north end of the strip and was looking at an hour walk down to The Trop. So I hopped in a cab and $14 later was there. I ended up spending the next 4 hours playing blackjack at the Trop. I was surprised to find $5 blackjack on the strip that paid 3:2. I was also at a really fun table where we were all entertained by this Russian guy in his twenty who was obviously high on coke. He was betting black chips, losing, and pulling out more Benjamins from his huge wad of bills. He kept disappearing and coming back. He also would turn around and tell the girl in the dress behind us to bet on number 2 in roulette so he could look up her dress as she placed her bet. He was a good time.
At about 3:30am I was back to even, so I decided to start heading back to Ceasars. I took a beer for the road and walked up the strip. I got back to caesars and killed some time drinking and playing video poker. After that I got my bag back from the bell desk and hopped in a cab to the airport. I was drunk and exhausted. The plane could have crashed and I wouldn't have woken up. I slept just long enough to be able to drive myself home, crawl into bed and sleep for the next 9 hours. It was a good trip.
It started with me flying home the night before Christmas Eve. I did my usual route to the airport which involves a mile walk to a bus, which takes me to a ferry, which takes me to a light rail, which takes me to the airport. From the airport I hopped on a nice little flight down to Phoenix. From Phoenix I slept during my flight to Chicago, and from there it was a quick jump to Detroit. I arrived home a little more than 19 hours after I left. And then I had to go do Christmas Shopping.
A week at home was just enough to remind me why I never want to live in the Detroit suburbs again. So despite the free beer, pool table and hot tub (not to mention family) I left Detroit the day before NYE and flew down to Houston. Of course on this trip it could never be that simple. To get to Houston, I had to fly through Washington DC and Jackson Mississippi. Once in Houston, I spent several days with Mark and Dave. One day we decided to wake up and go to a bowl game. So we grabbed some beer and went down to Reliant Stadium and scalped some tickets for about $17 each to the Texas Bowl.
After the game we went to this liqour store called Spec's. The only reason I mention it is because it has over 80,000 square feet of selling space. The place was an alcoholic's Disneyland.
For NYE we went with a big group out to a local bar. The great thing about Houston is that since it is so warm the bars are mostly patio's with the actual bar having large openings to the outdoor areas. It was a pretty good time but would not hold up amongst some of my better NYE's.
[FREE SIDEBLOG TIME]
Brian's Top 5 New Year's Eves
2008 - Ann Arbor, Michigan
2006 - Windsor, Canada
2010 - Washington, DC
1993 - Bedford, PA (I ate a bunch of chocolate fudge that year and puked everywhere around 12:15)
2009 - Seattle, WA
[END FREE SIDEBLOG TIME]
New years day was spent sitting on Mark's rooftop porch watching the Michigan Basketball game, smoking cigars and drinking whiskey. Pretty solid day.
The next morning Dave and I got on a flight from Houston to New Orleans to attend the Sugar Bowl. It was my first trip to New Orleans and I came away very impressed. There is just something about Bourbon street that makes me really like it. I haven't been to Beale Street in Memphis or downtown Savannah Georgia, so I can't provide another free sideblog of top 5 favorite streets in America. (Having no open container law is the only criteria for making my list of favorite streets in America)
but I must say, it ranks high on the list so far. I can only imagine what it is like when the weather is above 55 degrees. Before going there my only real knowledge came from watching the Cops specials from Mardi Gras. That's how I knew that it's okay for girl to show their TaTa's but guys can't show their trouser snakes.
Before the Sugar Bowl we pre-gamed in the French Quarter with about 20 of my college friends and then went to the Superdome. I sat in the Student section which was great. The game was ugly but since we won, that meant a big party on Bourbon Street.
If there is a big party, you know that Craig will be there.
Side note: The previous morning he woke up next to a vending machine in a hotel he wasn't staying at.
Gratuitous David Cone shot with fellow Lahser alum Justin:
On the way back to the hotel a girl called my name. It just happened to be Mark Hugye's girlfriend who used to date my roommate, who was good friends with Mark. So I got to talk to Mark a minute and congratulate him on the season. We walked past many of the players on the way back. I even had my picture taken for a terrific Tumblr.
I did a lot of drinking in New Orleans. The 2 days we were there felt like 5 because we would go out and drink all afternoon and then take a nap and go out again at night. Great food, cool city. 5 Stars would visit again, A+++++.
The next day I flew back to Seattle (Through Denver of course). The following day I found myself sitting through an all day design review. It was quite the transition from partying on Bourbon Street to listening to a bunch of nerds talk about Delta T equations.
It was a pretty good vacation. I got to see lots of old friends and do many cool things. And doing cool things is cool.
I just finished reading John U Bacon's epic tome Three and Out about the Rich Rodriguez years as Head Coach of the Michigan Football Team. It left me with mixed feelings.
It was great in that it provided insight to some of the questions that had been lingering around the program the past few years, but it didn't quite deliver on all fronts. I was hoping for more meat between the buns. I think part of the problem is that Bacon was unable to get interviews with Carr, Martin and Coleman. And I can only imagine how tight-lipped that Carr interview would have actually been.
The book was hard to read knowing just how frustrating the story would end up. I had put that 2009 Illinois game behind me and tried not to look back, and having to relive that game was tough. Going back and having to remember being in the Big House for the loss to Toledo was another tough one. Three MSU and OSU losses weren't fun to remember either. It made me go back and wonder how things may have been different had one or two small things had gone the other way. The one that really gets me is the Antonio Bass injury. It's impossible to say, but I'd like to think that he is one player that could have really made a difference when Rodriguez arrived. He would have been a mobile senior quarterback perfect for the Rodriquez offense in 2008. A major upgrade over the Sheridan/Threet combo, I think he could have won us a few games and put the entire program on a different trajectory. But Butterfly effect and all, maybe with him we win the 2006 National Championship and Lloyd doesn't retire. Hard thing to predict, but it still sits in my mind.
My favorite part of the book was seeing the players behind the facade of the program. I liked the stories about how the players saw those years and what their views on the team were. It was also interesting to see people I knew and hung out with get mentioned in the book, though never in much detail.
Tomorrow night John Bacon is going to be in Seattle doing a talk and Q&A type thing. I've been thinking about the various questions I want to ask him. The one that's really puzzling me is the minimal mention of Justin Feagin in the book. Feagin was only mentioned as a high risk recruit when they were discussing the Demar Dorsey fiasco (which is another thing I want to ask about). But I clearly recall that there was some very negative backlash when he got kicked of the team for setting up a bad cocaine deal and then having the guy he set it up for try to burn down West Quad. I wonder if that just got left on the cutting room floor, or if there was more to it that only someone with access would have seen. It would also answer my questions on how a players dismissal affects the coaching staff, player, and team. The Boubacar Cissoko dismissal was mentioned in the book, but Bacon never talked about how that affected the team to see one of their own leave the program like that.
It all started last Monday. I was sitting at work bullshitting with Kyle, the fellow Michigan Grad who I had help recruit. We had just gone to the Washington-Cal game the weekend before and had been talking about other games we wanted to go to. We both agreed that an Oregon Ducks game was near the top of our list and decided to take a look at their schedule. With other commitments looming in the weeks ahead we realized the our only opportunity would be the game that was coming up on Thursday. We looked at each other and asked "Can we really do this?" and then scrambled to open our Outlook calendars. With a little rescheduling we had cleared off Thursday afternoon and Friday and then told our boss what we were planning.
When we left work on Thursday morning we really had no concrete plans. We had lined up tickets but that was about it. We had a tent and a few sleeping bags, but much less in the way of arraignments. We drove all afternoon, stopping near Portland for Wendy's and filling our cooler with ice and beer. We rolled into Eugene and parked our car near the campus. We got out, shotgunned a beer, put 12 more in a plastic bag and walked towards campus. At Oregon, all of the campus is on the South Side of the Willamette river and the stadium is on the other side surrounded by large fields of tailgaters. Students walk along a short trail before taking a bend in the trail and seeing this:
We sat with a bunch of alumni and told them how we always wanted to go to a game here, and how we remember Oregon coming into Ann Arbor in 2007 and giving us a whipping behind the legs of Dennis Dixon. They were pretty good guys and we had some fun with the people around us. It may have helped that we had a couple of beers in the ol' belly by this point. They say it never rains at Autzen but it sure seemed to be that night. There are two interesting notes that are stuck in my mind from Autzen. 1) There is a ridiculous amount of corporate advertising in the stadium. Even the DuckVision has ads on it all the time. 2) They pumped up the crowd before the game with a montage set to the song Lightning Crashes by Live. It's a song about dead babies.
The view from our seats
The game was pretty good in the first half with Cal actually winning at halftime. But in the second half the Ducks came out ready to play. A few times the crowd got really loud and I could understand why Lloyd Carr called Autzen the loudest stadium he's ever coached in. For only 60,000 people they sure can make some noise. Overall the game experience at Autzen was generally positive and exciting.
After the game Kyle and I were hungry and decided to get some burritos. Without any alternatives we decided to drive out of town and sleep at a campground for the night. On the way there I ran over a possum in the Camaro.
The next morning we woke up and packed our things while discussing our plan for the day. We did consider the fact that we were halfway to San Francisco, and that we had Monday off work for Columbus Day so it was in the realm of possibility. But eventually we set out for Corvallis to eat breakfast and see what there would be to do in Oregon. We walked around the campus of Oregon State in Corvallis and even made a friend who informed us that Delta Upsilon was basically the "Frattiest Frat on campus". He also asked if we "wanted to party". It was only 11:30 in the morning, and at that moment be both dearly missed college.
Before leaving town we decided to stop by Reser Stadium. We walked right in and had ourselves a look around. We brought some adult beverages with us and decided why not shutgun a beer on the field.
Note all the advertising
After Oregon State we continued our tour of Oregon by heading towards the coast. We made it just in time to go on the tour of the Rogue Brewery in Newport. I've always liked breweries and enjoyed tours, but I found Rogue to be a little unique. Their only brewery and entire world headquarters is located inside of an old boat dry-storage shed, which is sitting in the parking lot of a marina. There is no lobby and you walk right into the fermentation tanks. It looked like a mexican meth lab built overnight in some shabby building. But boy is their beer tasty. After the tour we decided to head up the coast and towards Portland.
Me outside the Rogue Brewery on the Oregon Coast
This is where the story gets good.
Kyle had never been to Portland, and I absolutely love Portland so I wanted to give him a good taste of the city and to go out and get hammered. Our only problem was that we had no accommodations and wouldn't be able to drive to a campsite. That's when we came up with our greatest plan to date. The Occupy Wall Street protests had spread nationwide and in every major city there were groups camped out downtown. All we needed to do was to infiltrate the Occupy Portland movement and fake our way to free camping right by some of the best bars.
We found the park that they were occupying and we set up our tent in one of the last free patches of grass. On the drive into Portland we spent most of our time discussing how utterly stupid the protests were and created back stories for ourselves. When we introduced ourselves to our tent neighbors we said we worked for a small metals company in Seattle that supplied Boeing. We figured that telling the Anti-Goverment protesters that we worked for the Government may be a bad idea. The first protester we met welcomed us to the start of the "next great american revolution". I agreed, trying to keep the sarcasm from dripping into my words.
Portland is a city that in known for it's free speech laws, interesting characters (hippies and weirdo), and transients. It's the characters that give the city it's style and one of the things I like best about it. Well, many of the people that joined the occupy Portland movement look, dress and talk a whole lot different than the clean-cut, north-face wearing, iPhone 4 owning duo that are Kyle and Brian. But support is support, so we were welcomed freely.
After we setup our tent, word spread around that there would be a general assembly in 10 minutes. Of course we went, there could be useful information regarding the availability of "shit-buckets" for bodily needs. The first 20 minutes was spent going over the hand signals that we would be using to communicate and gain consensus. For an unorganized, leaderless protest there sure were a lot of sub-committees, action items and agenda topics. Great for a group who wants to end bureaucratic practices. The biggest issue facing the Occupy Portland movement seemed to be who got to be in charge of the Occupy Portland movement. After a while of waiting to get to the "shit-bucket" agenda item, I decided to break away and become the leader of the Occupy Chipotle's Bathroom Movement. It was an overwhelming success.
After that Kyle and I decided to hit some of the best bars in Portland. We started at the Barcade, where I proceeded to spank him up and down the field in Madden 99. Then over to the Thirsty Lion where the U-M Alumni Association meets to watch the games. We talked about sticking around Portland to watch the Michigan game the next day but then realized it was a 4pm game. We ended the night checking out some of Portland's finer entertainment and grabbing some Street Cart food which Portland is famous for.
We wandered back to camp pretty drunk and ready to prod the revolution. I decided to jump in with both feet and gauge the sentiments of the crowd. It was 2AM and the camp was arush with activity. The camp library was still open, and the chefs has a pretty tasty hobo stew cooked up. Kyle wandered off to bed while I argued for the need to end corn-subsidies. The entire thing cracked me up, but I managed to keep a pretty straight face. After talking to some people about my idea to fix the trade deficit a few of the protesters said that I should start a camp newspaper. I started to consider the thought on my way back to the tent before I realized how ridiculous it was.
When we woke up the next morning we were hungover and realized that our ruse had worked. We had actually faked joined a nationwide protest so we could go out and get completely blitzed and then camp in a city park for free. We got out of our tent and realized that the park had been fenced in. The Portland Marathon was that morning fences had been erected around the park. We quickly and quietly packed up our tent and went to leave. On the way out I managed to get a picture of the camp.
The camp. You can see the fences around the park.
We drove back to Seattle and completed our 3-day, 700 mile tour of Oregon. When we got back we went to the bar despite terrible hangovers and watch Michigan come back to beat Northwestern. The best part of the trip was that we never had a real plan worked out, yet everything seemed to work out. We flew by the seat of our pants, never knowing what lay ahead. Now when our clearances are up for renewal we'll have a pretty funny story to tell the investigating agent when they ask if we've ever protested against the government.
Whenever I come back into Ann Arbor I like to listen to a couple of my favorite tracks that remind me of Ann Arbor. Usually I listen to some Postal Service because it takes me back to my days in Markley Hall, Timaland's Apologize reminds me of Sophomore year living at 510 Benjamin, some Since U Been Gone takes me back to the wild tailgate days, and I usually listen to some Bob Seger because I'm pretty sure all his songs are about being an adolescent in Ann Arbor.
So with those songs playing on my ipod I flew back to Ann Arbor on the red eye Thursday night. The music really didn't matter much though because I had taken an Ambien before the flight immediately passed out until I was awoken by the stewardess violently shaking me in an attempt to wake me a few minutes before landing. It was 6 AM EDT, 3 AM PDT. A few hours later I would finally get someone to come pick me up at the airport and take me back to Ann Arbor.
I dropped my stuff off at the apartment I was crashing at and along with the 5 that flew in the day before did the most logical thing possible: go straight to Benny's. Benny's was the hungover diner of choice during my last two years of college and you'd be surprised how many people you would see at Rick's at 2 AM and then back at Benny's around 11. Being us, we were immediately seated at the corner booth (Campus Legend). I obligatorily ordered a Coney Dog and a Saganaki. It was good to be back home.
That afternoon I went to meet up with two of my former box house brethren. On the way there I noticed something amazing. There is now Buffalo Wild Wings on State Street and Washington. I have no idea when it was put in, but I sure wish it was there when I was a student! It's amazing how somethings change so quickly. I'm pretty sure it was an Olga's kitchen when I went to school.
It appeared that every grad from the last 5 years was back in town for the game. That is, except my intrepid co-worker who got to the airport and realized that he had booked flights for the wrong weekend. We decided to get to the bars early because of how many people were back for the game. Zola and I showed up at Charley's and were immediately offered the lounge (Campus Legend). We eventually moved to a regular table and spent most of the eve of the first night game in Michigan Stadium history doing shots and chugging brews. Conversing about the good times, and the better times.
I woke up on the floor of the apartment on Saturday morning at the ridiculous early hour of 8AM. But it was gameday and we had tailgating to do. Fortunately our buddies had spent the previous week planning a perfect tailgate. 15 pounds of pulled pork, 100 burgers and dogs, a sound system, generators, a tent, multiple beer pong tables, cornhole, a television, 6 coolers, they even managed to get their hands on an Excursion for transportation purposes. Unfortunately, our planned tailgate location - the U of M golf course - would not be opened on account of heavy rains. As a resourceful campus legend, I made a call and secured a tailgate location at my younger sister's house at Benjamin and Packard. A much better tailgating locale if you ask me. The girls at the house had heard some of the stories from the box house and requested that no pizza's get nailed to the wall like they did at the box house. We agreed.
We got to the house and set up shop around 10AM and soon after went to go pick up some kegs. I walked into Campus Corner and the first thing I hear is "Brian!". It was the owner of the liquor store that I had befriended in college and apparently as a Campus Legend, I had not been forgotten despite not living in Ann Arbor for 2 years. This wouldn't be the only time this would happen on the trip. Several people came up to me and said they recognized me from my wild college days.
The tailgate was a wild blur. Lot's of drinking. Playing beer pong and corn hole. Doing several rounds of Thunderstruck and generally doing all the things we did on gameday when we were undergrads. But this time it was spread out over 10 hours. It was something that was foreign to all of us, and no one really seemed to know if it was possible to pace ourselves for a game like this. I spent some time going to other tailgates. I think I ran into 8 people from my high school. Because we had plenty of beer and food, eventually most of our friends ended up at our tailgate. Kegs were tapped and new ones were rolled back in recycle bins from campus corner.
The tailgate, with my old house in the background.
At one point all the Russell kids were there and we took our annual Christmas card photo. This wasn't it.
The hours rolled on. Things like this started to happen.
That's why they call him Bodyshot!
Before the game we decided to take a quick group picture with our hostess.
Before the game we all slapped the bag and chugged Andre. We got our last cups of keg beer and cleaned up a little. Then it was gametime.
On the walk to the stadium I somehow struck of a conversation with the Mayor of South Lyon. Our topic was Mr. Dave Brandon, who just happened to grow up with and still talk to Mr. Mayor. It was by far one of the most interesting conversation I had during the weekend. We made it into the stadium and down to our seats and got checked out our view.
The game experience was unreal. It was nothing like any game I had been to at the Big House before. The fans just seemed so much more into the game. The best part is that we were right in the endzone that Michigan was driving towards during the 4th quarter and all those touchdowns were right in front of us. For the game, I can't do it justice, but I'm sure this video can.
The game was so crazy that after the final TD the man in front of us cheered so intensely that his wedding ring flew off his finger and landed a few rows away. Only in Tuscaloosa after the Iron Bowl had I seen fan wait in their seats so long after a game had ended. It was like no one had anywhere to go, and why would they, because the party was here anyways. It was mayhem.
I don't think this will go down as the best game I've ever seen in the Big House, but it will go down as the most exciting. I'm thinking a ranking might be a good next blog post. I loved every minute of it, except for, you know, the first 3 quarters. But deep down I always knew we would come back and make a game out of it.
It was 1 AM by the time we left the stadium, too late to go to the bars. Everyone was amped up from the win but at the same time exhausted from the extensive tailgating and emotional game. It was a weird feeling. We went back to my sisters house to drink some of the last keg and try to rally. The climax of the rally was us all walking to Packard Pub and then deciding we would rather get some Jimmy John's. Half of us passed out on the ride home.
Sunday morning everyone woke up and asked "did that really happen?" Most of our voices were hoarse and we all looked like garbage. We watched some of the Gameday that we had recorded and then decided to get some food. Early in the afternoon my Sisters picked me up to go meet with Grandma Sunshine. We had a nice lunch before Julie and I flew home. On the way to the airport I reached in my bag and felt something unusual. It was a small knife that I had put in for my camping trip to eastern Washington the weekend before. I had been very close to unknowingly trying to sneak a knife onto a plane on the 10th anniversary of September 11th. I'm sure it wouldn't have helped out when they found it right next to the book on the Taliban that I was reading. I left it with my sister to mail back to me, but the really scary part is that I had flown out to A2 with it in my bag. It didn't do much to inspire confidence in the abilities of the TSA.
After a long trip I made it home and went to bed at midnight. It was 6 hours before my alarm clock was set to go off. But as I lay in bed, I figured that there was nothing that would make me not want to go back to the only place I've ever felt truly at home.
Around 1pm on Friday Mark, James, Dave and I left Ann Arbor on a trip to see Michigan play Penn State. I had gotten the tickets this summer and was lucky because they sold out within 5 minutes of going on sale. I packed 6 shirts, 5 of them were Michigan shirts.
We made great time and got to the house where we were staying at around 7pm. The guy we were staying with had worked with Dave and James over the summer and lived right near downtown State College. It was a first floor apartment of a house, and was centerpieced by a 96 inch projection screen. Soon after we got there everyone else left to get a keg and I was alone when a girl came in who I could only describe as "loony". She had taken 3 Five Hour Energies and for some reason thought they were additive and she would be hopped up for 15 hours. I think she was on drugs. That night, the house had a party and we got to hang out with this kid's friends. We were amazed to find that they play "NBA Jams" rules in beer pong. I thought that was original to Ann Arbor. They had a pair of police grade handcuffs lying around and after a few drinks it seemed like a good idea to cuff one of Dave's wrists. I then found out that they didn't have a key, oops. We got a call from my buddy Rob saying that he was at a great party a few blocks away. We headed over to the house he was staying at, and Dave headed off to find a police officer to undo his handcuffs. At the other party were severely accosted by Penn State fans, in much they same way we would accost them, verbally not physically. We went back to our house and found that Dave had quite the time explaining to the cops why he was semi-handcuffed.
After getting back, it was pretty late and I had told my cousin Mike that I would meet him for breakfast at 10 on Saturday. Unfortunately, there was still a party going on, and I was exhausted. So I decided to go out and sleep in the car. At 5:19 in the morning I woke up in the front seat of a Dodge Stratus and couldn't feel my extremities. I headed back inside and found a piece of flooring. During the party they had the door open, so even inside it was around 50 degrees. It was the worst night of sleep I have gotten in a long time.
On gameday we woke up and headed to meet up with my cousin and his wife Lynne and their friends Jeff and Melissa. Breakfast consisted of Long Island Iced Tea's and Nachos. We then said hi to my Aunt and Uncle for a minute and then headed over to the stadium with is all the way across campus from downtown. Surrounding the stadium are a bunch of large fields where most of the tailgating takes place. Mike took us to a few tailgates where we were either welcomed or despised. The ones that despised us made us drink heavily. In the 50 minutes before game time Mark and I drank between 7 - 8 beers and I slapped the bag. Heading towards the stadium I tried to jump a wire fence and failed miserably and landed on my head. Like most reasonable schools, open intox laws are relaxed on gamedays, so we stood outside the stadium and chugged beers.
Our seats were in the Michigan section of the upper bowl of the stadium. Having been to a good number of college stadiums I must say that Beaver Stadium is one of my favorites. It really felt like a pro stadium, complete with a sound system and advertising (boo!). It reminded me a little bit of Ben-Hill-Griffin stadium at Florida in terms of intimidation factor. The first quarter and a half was great. The last 40 minutes was a painful hope-shattering, realization of our destitute.
After the game we wen't to get some slices of pizza that I still have heartburn from 24 hours later. Then we went to the bar to drink away the pain. We got some personal pitchers and after kicking our ass, most of the PSU fans were pretty nice. We talked to one alumni who was impressed at the amount of football games that we go to. He then bought us a pitcher and split it with us. That's right, we had a Penn State fan buying us drinks at the bar.
Mark and I then met back up with Mike and Melissa because I had bet a pitcher that Michigan would cover the 23.5 point spread. We went to a basement bar that had a huge number of beers on tap. I just drank Yeungling because I rarely get to order it in Michigan. We were pretty tired at this point and after a couple of pitchers we decided to pack it in. We staggered home and found some space on the floor to sleep. I think that night there were 15 people in a three bedroom apartment.
This morning I felt like complete garbage. My two roommates Brick and Andy had come out with a kid who was continuing on to Philly on Sunday so we told Brick we would give him a ride home if he sat bitch the entire way. Andy on the other hand, had to find his own way home from Happy Valley, and somehow managed to make it back to Ann Arbor with some random kids he met. We found my roommate brick at the Hooters in State College at 11 am on Sunday. The drive back went pretty well.
The trip wasn't nearly as crazy as the UT weekend but it was still fun. We kept running into other Michigan fans we know, and there was a good showing of Michigan fans at the game. The Penn State fans were as expected, hostile but not terribly bad. Downtown State College is great, with a good college town feel and lots to do. The loudness of the Beaver Stadium makes me wonder why our 110,000 fans are so quiet. Overall it was a really fun trip and one that I would definitely go again.
I saw Mike Barwis on State Street. It was the scariest thing that has happened to me since I got between Jibba Jabba and an empty beer can.
For those who don't know, Mike Barwis is the new strength and conditioning coach at Michigan and he has the ability to scare the shit out of me. I was looking to see if it was really him, but your never supposed to look directly into Mike Barwis' eyes, he sees it as a sign of aggression. This man is pure terror. Apparently in addition to calling every male athlete "Stallion" he fights MMA. It would be a toss up between him and Kimbo Slice. This is what a former Wrestler for WVU said about him:
My first interaction with Barwis was on the first day of wrestling practice when he called all the freshman and first-year wrestlers into the training room, locked the door, and gave us a 20 minute tongue-lashing. The most memorable part: "I'm not your friend. If you see me on campus, don't smile at me. Don't nod at me. You're meat. You exist for the upperclassmen to beat on." After his "motivational speech," he walked out, slammed the door, and left a room full of silent athletes wondering What did I just get myself into? I think one kid was crying. We went from there to our first workout. No less than 5 kids quit during warm-ups that day.
He was even able to keep Pacman Jones out of trouble at WVU. He got in the face of some kid at open tryouts:
What I can vouch for is that Barwis is amazing. His presence is absolutely terrifying, he's so incredibly motivating that even in the brief time I was there I would have done absolutely any drill he made me do as hard as I could. He's a very, very special coach - you want to do exactly as he says because you're so very sure that it'll make you better. During the suicides that we did at the end, he singled me out because I was lagging and screamed at me; I've never willed my body to go faster ever in my life. Awesome.
Not awesome. So there I was, looking directly at Mike Barwis, too scared to move, knowing there was no place to flee. I immediately took a left and walked right into the street preferring to get hit by a car than by Mike Barwis. I then ran three blocks home, knowing at any second I could be dead. I have no doubt that I am lucky to be alive right now, and even luckier to have gotten so close and escaped.
