The Roomates: Max

Over the course of my four years in college I lived with a total of 20 different people. If I count the people who stayed with us, or the practically live-in girlfriends that number approaches 30. 5 of them were girls, and some of them were quite blogable. Many of them also make up the readership of this blog. Time to burn some bridges. So lets start from the start: Max.

Max was my freshmen year roommate. Meaning that I didn't have any say in the matter of us living together. Max was from Chicago, and if I recall his facebook page said that he was at one time an Ambercrombie model. I later found out that this was completely untrue, but Max probably could have been. I've allured to him before in this blog, most aptly:

My freshmen year roommate would sit on our futon all day every Saturday and browse Facebook. He had one of two standard responses to everyone on Facebook.

1) This chick is hot. I'm going to facebook her.
or 2) He's in that frat? They're so gay.

I found his life to be interesting, but himself to be quite boring. His personality was not one that would fit itself to long conversations of philosophical importance, but rather to lists of the top 10 mammals with the largest dongs.

Within several days of living together, we both realized that we were very different people. He instantly went out and joined a frat. You could have taken one look at him and known that. Which ended up being nice, because while he was busy doing the elephant walk I had the room to myself. This story seems to describe Max perfectly. When he was rushing, his best friend on the hall also rushed. His best friend was pretty cool but after awhile he began to see through all of the pledging bullshit. He would come over and talk to Max about how he would keep doing it so that he could be a brother, but was disillusioned by the process. (He probably said that with 50-300 more of the phrase "Bro get this") Max would agree, and then he would go and tell the brothers that his best friend wasn't 100% into it. He managed to get his best friend kicked out of the pledge class. Classic Max.

We got along fine. Mostly because we quickly realized that we were never going to be friends. Then it just came down to co-existing. Plus, he had a smoking hot GF and they used to bone while they thought I was asleep. But as someone who was obsessed with his own vanity, he found it particularly hard to -how do you say- not be a douche bag.

During the next three years I would sometimes run into him around campus. Usually I would be walking with my friends and he would be going to the gym. We would say hi as we passed. That was about all that needed to be said.