I worked the graveyard shift tonight from 7pm to 3am. I really like working late nights for several reasons; there is almost no traffic, there are almost no passengers, most traffic lights go to blinking red after midnight, there is no rush to get home to do stuff and there are usually drunk people you can fuck with.
For example, around 1:20 I was sitting at CC Little drinking Diet Coke and playing scratch off lotto tickets when these three drunk girls tried to sneak two traffic cones on my bus. The were less than stealthy, but sat in the back to hide their loot. I got up and strolled to the back and asked "Are you ladies in possession of any stolen university property." They nervously stare at each other, while I stare at the traffic cones. The one that hadn't crapped her pants yet started apologizing, but I broke in with a "Well, it looks like I'm going to have to call this one in to DPS." The last girls craps her pants. I turn to go to the radio as the third girl whose voice is trembling in fear of being arrested her first night at Michigan says "Well put them back I promise. Please don't call the cops." By then I couldn't help but turn around and laugh and tell them that I really didn't care if they stole traffic cones. I got you good, fucker.
Later I was being creepy with some drunk freshmen girls and even got invited back to their Bursley dorm room. One of them ran her fingers through my hair. It was pretty cool. To bad that the night was highlighted by a different event one that will have bus 3028 live in infamy.
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