Rant: Panda Express Pricing Makes no Fucking Sense, neither does the Macbook Air

I eat at Panda Express about three times a week and I still haven't grasped how they price their menu items. There are 2 item types: Entrees and Sides. All entrees are considered the same price and so are the sides.

So one would think that there would be a fixed increase to add another entree to you meal. But it's not a linear increase. One entree and one side is $4.60. Two entrees and one side is $5.60. So its a dollar more to add a second entree. But three entrees and one side is not $6.60, it's $6.85. WTF? Non-linear pricing scale? Increasing marginal costs? It's also another $1.25 for the 4th item. So how much is an actual entree?



Well, they sell entrees and sides individually for 2.85 for a small entree and 1.85 for a small side. So individually the 1 entree and 1 side would cost 6.70, and you would save 10 cents by getting them together. You would save $1.90 on the 2 entree plate, and $3.55 on a three entree plate.

But they also sell individual items in large sizes. A large side is about 3 times as big and cost 8.85 for a large entree and 2.85 for a large side. This also makes absolutely no fucking sense. To go from a small entree to a large you pay over 3 times as much. But to go from a small side to a large side it cost 1.5 times as much. If its three times as big why would it only cost a dollar more to go from a small to a large for side dishes when it costs 6 dollars more to go from a small to a large entree? It makes about as much sense as buying a Macbook Air.

If you buy, want to buy, or think about buying a Macbook Air you are a moron. Go to Ohio where you will be accepted for who you are.

So your a hipster interested in a computer eh? Can I interest you in a notebook that is state of the art with the latest hardware advances. By state of the art I mean it comes without a CD/DVD drive. This means you can't watch DVD's on the go, rip CD's or install any software. If you want to, lets say watch a movie in an airport, you cant. What you can do, is buy another Mac with a CD/DVD reader and then transfer the disc to your Macbook Air. Although its seems like you could just buy any notebook with a CD/DVD reader this way is much cooler. But how can you transfer the data to you new Macbook Air? Well, those pesky high-speed firewire ports are the way of the past. The Macbook air will do it over your wireless network, assuming you have one. No eithernet port on this bitch, you can wait hours for your data to transfer while you check out the super cool widgets in Mac OS X.

This machine also makes it easy to manage your external devices. By including only one USB port it makes sure you don't have a host of devices connected at once. Lets say you want to download pictures off you digital camera onto you external hard drive. (Remember your Macbook Air only comes with a 80 gb hard drive, so an external is a must.) You simply disconnect your USB mouse/key drive/whatever your using, connect your external hard drive, take out the SD card from the camera, realize that this machine doesn't have an SD card reader, find the USB cord for your camera, disconnect your external hard drive, connect your camera, realize its not supported by Mac, download the pictures to your computer, disconnect your camera, re-connect your external hard drive, drag the pictures to your hard drive, re-connect your USB mouse/key drive/whatever you were using and viola your done. See how easy it is!

So why should you be interested in a $1800 computer that has less USB ports than the 450 Megahertz gateway in my living room that was bought in 1997? It is approximately a quarter inch slimmer than a standard Macbook. Sure you pay $300 more and don't get a CD/DVD drive, and have half as much hard drive space, but it is .32 inches thinner. That's almost .35 inches! Think about that. You can now fit so much more in your backpack/briefcase. No longer will I be saying, "I'd totally give up a CD/DVD drive in my computer, if only I could have .32 inches more room in my backpack!" This is innovation. It will go great with your Ipod Shuffle that was $99 and doesn't allow you to choose the song you want to listen to.

Lower Town, more like Upper Town! Hey-O!

Ground was officially broken this week to make way for the the Broadway Village at Lower Town. This is a big step toward the redevelopment of Lower Town, and might be able to spur development in an area that has been under duress for the past 50 years.

Lower Town is the area of Ann Arbor across the Huron River. It is anchored at Plymouth and Maiden Lane. Lower Town has played an important role in the history of Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor was founded on the hill above the Huron River in 1824, settlers began to arrive in Lower Town in 1826. Most of the town was planned by a developer named Anson Brown. He planned out streets and named them after those in New York (Broadway, Canal, Maiden Lane). In 1830 he built a general store (now St. Vincent De Paul store) which is the oldest surviving commercial building in Ann Arbor.


Anson Brown envisioned Lower Town becoming the main commercial district of Ann Arbor. He even managed to get the post office moved to lower town. This was a big deal, because at that time you had to go to the post office to pick up your mail, and mail was very important in 19th century life. But Brown died in 1834 and the development of Lower Town halted. While Ann Arbor was home to U of M and wealth, Lower Town became an industrial area with slaughter houses and mills. In the 1950's U of M started buying the row houses in Lower Town to use as parking lots for the medical campus and annexes. In the last decade fire burned down one of the businesses at Plymouth and Maiden Lane, and the Kroger that was at Broadway and Plymouth went out of business.

Now the land that the Kroger was sitting on is the center of a planned re-development. The project has been in talks for the past 9 years, which made many skeptical that it would ever happen. Although currently it is a 7.3 acre brownfield, by 2010 it should be 773,000 sq feet of retail, medical and residential space. I had heard that the site was going to be anchored by a large department store, but is now going to have a upscale gym instead. I hope this will go a long way to turning lower town from the eyesore it is today to a gentrified downtown area.

Here is an artists rendering of the project:


It looks pretty nice, and along with the Kellogg Eye Center expansion project, Lower Town is on the way up. Reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons where Milhouse was wearing flood pants on the same day there was an actual flood. Milhouse's reponse to this situation was "Looks like everything is coming up Milhouse!". Maybe thats the same for Lower Town.

Brian gets Mitt to Pound It

Today James and I went down to see Michigan's own native son and Bloomfield Hills' hometown hero, Mitt Romney at a rally in Southfield. I wore my Perot 1992 t-shirt. After the rally as Mitt was leaving I got him to pound fists with me. It was very presidential. That's what I like about him. Straight pound, no nonsense and the perfect amount of force. For the record Mitt doesn't explode after the pound.

I call him the Oven Mitt because he can handle the hot issues.

Top Movies of 2008

I expect 2008 will be an amazing year for movies. Before the pesky writers strike high priority movies were pushed to completion before the strike began, giving Hollywood enough material for the upcoming year. Here are the movies I can't wait to see in 2008. (I didn't write any of this, I just compiled it from the internet.)

Must See:



Fanboys
Release Date: 2008
Starring: Sam Huntington, Dan Fogler, Jay Baruchel, Kristen Bell
Synopsis: Star Wars fans travel to Skywalker Ranch to steal an early copy of Episode I: The Phantom Menace for their dying friend.
The Hype: The long-delayed Star Wars comedic adventure is supposed to finally hit theaters in 2008 and you know what, I'm still looking forward to it like the Star Wars geek I am.



Get Smart
Release Date: June 20th, 2008
Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Terence Stamp, Alan Arkin
Synopsis: Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 for CONTROL, battles the forces of KAOS with the more-competent Agent 99 at his side.
The Hype: Possibly already the big comedy hit of 2008, it's the first movie since The Producers in 2005 to have Mel Brooks' touch. Besides that, the footage already out has planted this solidly as the soon-to-be funniest spy movie of the decade.



Cloverfield
Release Date: January 18th, 2008
Starring: Michael Stahl-David, Mike Vogel, Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas
Synopsis: Revolves around a monster attack in New York as told from the point of view of a small group of people.
The Hype: You've all seen the trailers by now and at this point the "what the hell is it?!" buzz is higher than almost any other movie in 2008. The early reviews have been all positive, and a new classic could be in the making.



Semi-Pro
Release Date: February 29th, 2008
Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, André Benjamin, Will Arnett
Synopsis: Jackie Moon, the owner-coach-player of the American Basketball Association's Flint Michigan Tropics, rallies his teammates to make their NBA dreams come true.
The Hype: Might be the best Will Ferrell comedy since Anchorman. The full trailer is pretty damn hilarious - at least it will be better than Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights.



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Release Date: May 22nd, 2008
Director: Steven Spielberg (Jurassic Park, Saving Private Ryan, Munich)
Starring: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, Jim Broadbent
Synopsis: The latest installment of Indiana Jones is set at the height of the Cold War in 1957.
The Hype: This needs no introduction. Dr Jones returns to the big screen 18 years after The Last Crusade and 19 years older with Shia LaBeouf as his new sidekick.

The Fighter
Release Date: 2008
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Brad Pitt
Synopsis: A look at the early years of boxer "Irish" Micky Ward and his brother who helped train him before going pro in the mid '80s.
The Hype: Visionary filmmaker Darren Aronofsky is finally taking on a more mainstream film that will likely still include his incredible cinematography and brilliant filmmaking techniques.

Look Good:


Strange Wilderness
Release Date: February 1st, 2008
Starring: Steve Zhan, Allen Covert, Jonah Hill
Synopsis: Animal enthusiast Peter Gaulke (Steve Zahn) and his sidekick Fred Wolf (Allen Covert) host an ailing wildlife TV show "Strange Wilderness," which is in a steep ratings decline. Desperate to save the show, Peter hatches a Hail Mary scheme to find the one animal that could truly turn the show around and change the nature-show landscape forever - Bigfoot.
The Hype: This comedy should be a sleeper hit, and with Jonah Hill and Steve Zhan I'll be laughing.



Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
Release Date: April, 25 2008
Starring: Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris (NPH), John Cho
Synopsis: Harold and Kumar get sent to Guantanamo Bay where they eventually escape and find themselves in the center of some wacky mishaps.
The Hype: The first one was great, the second should be just as good.



Rambo
Release Date: January 25th, 2008
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Paul Schulze, Matthew Marsden
Synopsis: In Thailand, John Rambo assembles a group of mercenaries and leads them up the Salween River to a Burmese village where a group of Christian aid workers allegedly went missing.
The Hype: Like Rocky before it, Sly Stallone has returned to put a final cap on this franchise and so far the incredibly gory trailers have evoked an overwhelmingly positive response.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Release Date: Late 2008
Director: Kevin Smith (Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II)
Starring: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Jason Mewes
Synopsis: Lifelong platonic friends Zack and Miri look to solve their respective cashflow problems by making an adult film together. As the cameras roll, however, the duo begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought.
The Hype: Kevin Smith rarely goes wrong and after Clerks II in 2006, I'm confident that this will be just as good, if not even better than that. He's got an amusing plot, a hilarious lead actor, and gorgeous lead actress - what more can you ask for?

The Pineapple Express Release Date: August 8th, 2008
Director: David Gordon Green (George Washington, All the Real Girls, Snow Angels)
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Amber Heard
Synopsis: A stoner and his dealer are forced to go on the run from the police after the pothead witnesses a cop commit a murder.
The Hype: The powerhouse Judd Apatow production team is ready to redefine and reinvigorate the stoner comedy genre with Pineapple Express, a half-action, half-comedy mega-movie.

The Love Guru
Release Date: June 20th, 2008
Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco
Synopsis: Pitka, an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge: To settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete.
The Hype: Mike Myers is back with his first original character creation since Austin Powers and if he pulls it off, it could be possibly be better than that series.

I hope this isn't a fire hazard...

I remember last summer when a bunch of guys came back to Ann Arbor and were staying at Zach Warlicks 1 bedroom apartment. His little asian landlady showed up in the morning to find 20 guys sleeping on the floor of Zach's empty apartment and demanded to know "How long you been camping here?" Despite Zach's pleas the landlady refused to believe that he either paid rent, or had only been there 1 night. That's how I feel Wilson White would react if they ever came in our house.

Legally our house is zoned for 6 occupants. This semester we will have 10 people living here. That is 166% capacity. There are 6 bedrooms, and Ross and Pete share the downstairs one. Al lives in what is technically a storage room and now Brick and Andy just moved into our basement. Yes, we have 2 kids living in our unfinished basement. They were cleaning it up before they moved in and found a dead mouse. It is cold and damp and has been peed on by everyone. That also means that we have about 1 piece of silverware per person. I want nothing more than Brick or Andy to bring a girl home and take her down the basement.

If the housing inspector comes I don't think we stand much of a chance convincing them that its just the 6 of us here.

Happy Birthday to My Blog

I started my blog a year ago and 65 posts later I am still going strong. I have had some good posts and I have had some great posts. I re-read all of my posts over the last year and it reminded me of some things I probably would have otherwise forgotten. I was going to list the best blog posts of 2007 but they are all great in some way, whether it be blatant self promotion, update about my life, or a great story. I hope this year will be just as blogable as the last. Maybe this year I will get that craigslist missed connection, or finally have that Tucker Max-esq story. It's been a great year and I can't wait till next year to remember all the crazy stuff I did this year.

Just one other thing from today. Al, Pete, Ross and I went to Burger King, we had a bunch of coupons that were buy one get one free. I got 2 double stacker's, Pete got 2 chicken sandwich's, Ross got a huge load of food and Al got 2 triple stacker's. There were drinks and fries to go around. We averaged 2000 calories each. Al and Pete both got aver 2100 calories and Al had almost 200 grams of fat. An hour later and a bad case of the meat sweats we finally finished all of our food. We came home, enjoyed a food coma and watched football.